M*A*S*H (TV Series)
What's Up, Doc? (1978)
Loretta Swit: Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan
Photos
Quotes
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Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : There's nothing wonderful about it.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : Are you kidding? All we see around here is death and destruction. Now, in the middle of an inferno that even Dante wouldn't buy tickets to, there's a little glimmer of life, thanks to you. That's not wonderful; that's a miracle.
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Col. Sherman T. Potter : [after learning of Margaret's possible pregnancy] Did you tell Donald yet?
Margaret : No.
Col. Sherman T. Potter : Should you?
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Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : [Margaret may be pregnant] What made you so sure?
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : I have all the symptoms. Morning sickness, nausea.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : We all have that... from the Mess Tent takeout window.
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : There's more. I've been irritable lately.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Well, if you count irritability, you've been pregnant since I've known you.
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Captain, that time of the month hasn't been that time of the month yet. And that was last month.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Maybe your watch stopped.
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Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : [Awaiting her test results] Well?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Oh, my God. This is incredible.
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : What? What?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : I never knew my thumb was this big.
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Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Colonel, I don't think you're getting it. Uh, Margaret and Donald... aren't, uh, uh--
[stammering]
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : They're not, uh...
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : What he's trying not to say, Colonel, is that Donald and I are not...
Col. Sherman T. Potter : I think I've got it now.
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Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Well, I was with Donald about six weeks ago in Tokyo, and...
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Yeah?
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Well, I think...
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : What?
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : I'm pretty sure that I'm...
[under her breath]
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : ... pregnant.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Pregnant?
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Shhh!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : You mean with child?
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Shhh!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : Expecting? Our little major is gonna have a minor? That's wonderful!