M*A*S*H (TV Series)

Yessir, That's Our Baby (1979)

Jamie Farr: Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger

Quotes 

• Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Klinger, my compliments to Zale on making that cradle.

  Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Hey, the handle part was my idea.

  Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III : Congratulations, Klinger. This might mean a Nobel Prize. You have invented 'the stick'.

• Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : [showing the nurses how he was taught to put on a diaper]  This happens to be a family secret, handed down from father to son. Pay attention now. The "popo" must be placed dead center.

  Major Margaret Houlihan : Popo?

  Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Yes, the "popo." Notice the neat folds, and the snug fit in the hips and the legs. Guaranteed not to slip, slide, or blow off, during the most violent desert storm.

  Major Margaret Houlihan : [to the girls]  Comes in handy.

  Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : [picking up the baby]  There you have it, my dear. You're the proud wearer of a Lebanese serape.

  Major Margaret Houlihan : That was a wonderful job, Klinger. You're gonna make a marvelous father.

  Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Maybe someday, Major, after I get out of here, get back home, make a few bucks. It'll be a son-- Not that I have anything against girls. I married one once. But it'll be a boy somebody I can take to the Mud Hen games, shoot a rack of 8 ball with, go bowling. Then again, I could get very attached to a little girl. And I got a footlocker full of hand-me-downs.