Maid Marian and Her Merry Men (TV Series)

Rotten Rose: Part 1 (1990)

Siobhan Fogarty: Rotten Rose

Quotes 

• Robin : But what if they ask me about carpet laying? I've never *laid* *anything* in my life!

  'Rotten' Rose Scargill : We'll say you're on work experience.

  Robin : I'm a little... *mature* for that, aren't I?

  'Rotten' Rose Scargill : We'll say you're a slow learner.

  Robin : But will they *believe* it?

  'Rotten' Rose Scargill : Robin, I'm *sure* they will.

• Marian : [Marian and Nettle watch from a distance as the hysterical young women of Worksop flock around Robin]  Young girls! It's pathetic, isn't it?

  Cowpat : [to Robin]  Would you mind signing my arm, please? I've never met a real star before!

  Robin : Oh well, I suppose so, okay, yeah!

  Cowpat : Oh, I'll never wash again!

  'Rotten' Rose Scargill : You never wash anyway.

  Robin : Who shall I put it to?

  Cowpat : Cowpat, please!

  Robin : Cowpat. It's a pretty name. "To Cowpat, with love and best wishes from-"

  'Rotten' Rose Scargill : Can I touch your hair, please?

  Robin : Well...

  'Rotten' Rose Scargill : Can I, can I, can I?

  Marian : Look at him! His head's so swollen it'll split in two in a minute, and his brains'll drop out.

  Robin : [Calls over]  Hey! Marian! Apparently Smash Hits readers have voted me the outlaw they'd most like to snog!

• Graeme : Poor King John. The cares of the nation lie very heavy on his shoulders, don't they sir?

  The Sheriff : Yes, with a bit of luck a few more cares will dislocate them and his head'll fall off.

  'Rotten' Rose Scargill : [in a stage whisper from across the courtyard]  Sheriff!

  The Sheriff : Yes Gary?

  Gary : I didn't say anything.

  The Sheriff : Oh.

  'Rotten' Rose Scargill : [edges closer]  Sheriff!

  The Sheriff : You're not mucking about are you Gary?

  Gary : No sir!

  The Sheriff : [spooked]  You haven't... turned into a woman, have you?

  Gary : [defensively]  No sir, my bike's got a crossbar and everything!