Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk Goes to the Theater (2003)
Tony Shalhoub: Adrian Monk
Photos
Quotes
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Adrian Monk : [19:52] Speed dating? No, no, that's like Dante's Seventh Circle of Hell.
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Speed Date #1 : [20:09] I like your eyes.
Adrian Monk : Well, thank you. They came with the face.
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Sharona Fleming : Gail's in the next scene. She kills a guy.
Adrian Monk : I hope it's the guy who designed these seats.
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Adrian Monk : What if my character expresses his rage by putting away the groceries - roughly?
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Benjy Fleming : Are you going to do any more acting, Mr. Monk?
Adrian Monk : Anything's possible, Benjy... except for that.
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Sharona Fleming : How was the dating?
Adrian Monk : It was hell. Thank God I'm not single.
Sharona Fleming : But you are single.
Adrian Monk : Oh yeah.
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Director's Assistant : [astounded] You memorized the play in one viewing?
Adrian Monk : I'm really sorry.
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[Sharona's mother rings the doorbell. Sharona panics]
Sharona Fleming : Listen, I may have told her a couple things that weren't exactly true.
Adrian Monk : Like what?
Sharona Fleming : Like, Benjy's on the honor roll.
Adrian Monk : Oh. Okay, no problem.
Sharona Fleming : Thanks.
[She turns to the door, but turns back]
Sharona Fleming : Oh, and my rent's only $900 a month.
Adrian Monk : Right.
Sharona Fleming : And Ronnie? I broke up with him, not the other way around. I'm seeing a new guy now, he's a stockbroker, but he's out of town for six weeks... and-and you have full medical, and a dental plan.
[She starts to open the door, but stops]
Sharona Fleming : And... I'm not your assistant. I'm your partner. Is that all right?
Adrian Monk : Yeah... wow! Congratulations.
Sharona Fleming : Thanks.
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Adrian Monk : Excuse me. Could I have my four dollars back?
Doorman : What?
Adrian Monk : We gave you forty-four dollars.
Doorman : Yeah?
Adrian Monk : The bribe was only forty. So, you know...
Doorman : Are you for real?
Sharona Fleming : Will you come on?
Adrian Monk : OK, but we have a four dollar credit on any future bribes. I won't forget. I'm writing it down.
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Adrian Monk : [40:44] You would do anything to help Jenna get into the play. It's a big hit, heading to New York, and a career-making role for your daughter.
Man from Audience : My daughter?
Adrian Monk : That's right Mr. Ryan. That is your real name, isn't it? You've been obsessed with her career. Jenna told me all about it. We... we... dated briefly.