The Muppet Show (TV Series)

Valerie Harper (1976)

Richard Hunt: Statler, Wayne, Japanese Cake, Whatnots

Quotes 

• Statler : [after presenting Valerie Harper with a plant as a gift]  You're not so bad yourself, hubba, hubbah, hubba! Hey, what? No!

  [is escorted off stage by Fozzie and Kermit] 

• Waldorf : [impressed by Valerie Harper]  What a beautiful performer!

  Statler : Yeah, what a beautiful woman. You know, Waldorf, I think I'll go backstage and meet her.

  Waldorf : Why, you old fool, she wouldn't have anything to do with you! Besides I was thinking of going backstage.

  Statler : You? You? Why, you're old enough to be her grandfather!

  Waldorf : Why, you geriatric joker! We'll settle this, we'll flip for her.

  Statler : Okay.

  Waldorf : One, two, three!

  [Statler physically flips himself into the air] 

  Waldorf : You win.

• Statler : I'll have you know I dated, and wined and dined some of the finest performers on the legitimate stage: Hayes, Langtree, Barrymore.

  Kermit the Frog : Wait a minute. You dated Ethel Barrymore?

  Statler : No, Lionel. Ethel was busy that night. To tell you the truth, we didn't dance much either.