The Muppet Show (TV Series)

Pearl Bailey (1978)

Richard Hunt: Scooter, Janice, Beaker, Statler

Quotes 

• Scooter : Oh, boy, oh, boy, chief. Are we in trouble.

  Kermit : What now?

  Scooter : You know how you're planning to do the jousting scene from Camelot?

  Kermit : Of course. That's the show's grand finale.

  Scooter : Well, the people that published the music from Camelot just called and they won't let you do it.

  Kermit : What? I was willing to give them credit! I would've given them a big build up! I would have given anything to do the jousting scene!

  Scooter : They want money.

  Kermit : Cancel the jousting scene.

  Scooter : Gee whiz, chief. I thought you said we had 14.95 in the cash box

  Kermit : Yeah, well I spent 13.50 on the suits of armor.

• Floyd : I mean, why cast me? This knight business is an actor's gig. I am a musician, remember?

  Kermit : Well, Floyd, I wanted you to play the knight because you fit the part, you see. You're the only one of us with real gallantry. The only one of us with real honor.

  Scooter : The only one of us who'd fit in that iron suit.

  Kermit : Scooter, I needed that like I need a broken leg!

  Floyd : Okay, you need a broken leg, I'll fall on you again.

• Statler : [as they sit with an avocado]  I didn't like it.

  Waldorf : What did the avocado think?

  Avocado : It's the pits.

  [they all laugh] 

• Janice : Oh, wow, Kermit. Like, I really don't believe this weird trip you're putting us on.

  Kermit : Uh, what's that, Janice?

  Janice : The band and I just flashed in the closing number!

  Kermit : The band just flashed?

• Janice : Kermit, sometimes I just don't know what space you're coming from.

  Kermit : Oh, well, it's just sort of a regular backstage space.