- Earl Hickey: How was your first day of school?
- Randy Hickey: Great! I really enjoyed science class. Did you know that before we were humans we were monkeys?
- Earl Hickey: Really? What were we before monkeys?
- Randy Hickey: I don't know. I can't even remember being a monkey.
- Earl Hickey: Where's my car, Joy?
- Joy: Oh, I had it towed.
- Earl Hickey: Towed?
- Joy: Yeah. Maybe if you gave me some of that lotto money, I'd back off!
- Earl Hickey: [voiceover] It was at that moment I realized Joy had no idea that the money was in the car.
- Randy Hickey: Hey, Earl! Joy had no idea all your lotto money was in the car!
- Randy Hickey: Sir, can I have this magazine? One of the cheerleaders was out sick today and we're gonna decorate her locker.
- Earl Hickey: [to Randy] If we don't figure out a way to break into that impound yard and get my money, we're gonna have to eat that potato.
- Earl: No I am. I'm happy, I'm happy I got the money back, but I did it again. I forced him to give up his touchdown. I can't cross it off my list.
- Randy: Earl you didn't make me do this. I did it because you're my brother and I wanted to. I can make my own decisions, I'm not an idiot.
- Earl: But don't you wanna know what it feels like to score a touchdown?
- Randy: I'm pretty sure it's the same feeling I got when I drove up and saw the smile on your face.