- Abby Sciuto: You know that doesn't work with me... I always know when you're there... Gibbs?
- [sound of the lab door closing]
- Abby Sciuto: That's weird.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [Shaking a Caf Pow] You lookin' for me?
- Abby Sciuto: You are getting sneakier the older you get.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Not to mention better lookin' What ya got?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Hey, you know what this reminds me of? Pacci's suspect that we were staking out last year.
- Agent Caitlin Todd: That's right! The beautiful pre-op transsexual who seduced Tony.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: She didn't seduce me. I was undercover.
- Agent Caitlin Todd: Yeah, well, didn't you stick your tongue down...
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I took one for the team, all right? Someone had to keep her occupied.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Don't you mean "*him?*"
- [Tony is reclining at his desk, "asleep" with his eyes open, and Kate is speculating on why he's sleepy]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I don't kiss and tell, Kate.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Since when? I know more about your sex life than I do about my own, Tony.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: That's not hard to believe, Probie, since you don't have one.
- Joe Tabarez: Off the record Purcell is one creepy son of a bitch. What's he supposed to have done?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Shipped a pair of woman's eyeballs to a transsexual sailor who killed himself.
- Joe Tabarez: And here I thought I had seen it all.
- Guyman Purcell: [teaching a lecture] Okay, now that we've learned a little bit about recruiting double agents, let's take a moment to consider some of the risks involved. Anybody?
- [Tony starts to raise his hand to volunteer information]
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: DiNozzo, would you like to become left-handed?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: What's your location?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: We're looking for the TAT building right now. The town's kind of hard to navigate.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [viewing Tony's position on a GPS map in MTAC] It's fifty feet right in front of you, DiNozzo.
- [Gibbs enters squad room to see what his team has found out]
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Anybody! Talk to me.
- [Tony, leaving in Gibbs's wake, barks an order at McGee]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: You got it, Boss... uh, Tony.
- [Abby and Ducky are in her lab, talking to Gibbs on the phone. Ducky starts to report, then remembers his manners]
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: I'm sorry. Ladies first.
- Abby Sciuto: That is so sweet!
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: It's a pleasure, I'm sure.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Today, Abby!
- Colonel Bushnell: I got your email, Special Agent Gibbs. To tell you the truth, I was shocked. When did you learn to use a computer.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: [after Jimmy Palmer interrupts] Has head-slapping been effective for you, Jethro?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, look at the way DiNozzo turned out.
- Agent Caitlin Todd: Would you turn the heat up? I'm freezing.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Can't. Smoke from the tailpipe would give away our position.
- Agent Caitlin Todd: Great. Can't feel my legs, here.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: We could do what the eskimos do to keep warm.
- Agent Caitlin Todd: What's that?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Press their bodies together. Of course, the effect is greatly improved if you're naked.
- Agent Caitlin Todd: There's not enough liquor on the planet to make that happen, Tony.