Photos
Quotes
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : I'm not getting a signal. How about you?
Officer Ziva David : [holds up her cell phone] No. I'm braless.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : I noticed that earlier. But on your phone they're called "bars."
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Wait, back up a second. You were with McGeek?
Officer Ziva David : No, he was with me. I was making him dinner.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Why would you make McGeek dinner?
Officer Ziva David : I like to cook.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : You cook?
Officer Ziva David : Jimmy seemed to like it.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Palmer? I've never even been to your place and you're cooking dinner for McGee and the autopsy gremlin? At what point did the Earth fall off its axis?
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : So, riddle me this Batgirl. How does one wrangle an invite to dinner at your place?
Officer Ziva David : Why, feel a little left out, Tony?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : I mean, McGee, I can understand. He's a good guest. I bet he brought a bottle of wine.
Officer Ziva David : And dessert.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Yeah, big surprise there. But Palmer? I've had more stimulating conversations with cats.
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [locked in a shipping container with a large crate of cash] I'll tell you what. When we get out of here, I'm gonna buy you a house!
[Ziva chuckles]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : But it's going to have to be a fake one - because these are counterfeit.
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Officer Ziva David : Careful. This thing could be booby-trapped a dozen different ways.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Then why are we opening it again?
Officer Ziva David : Because if it is a bomb, it might be armed.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Hey, listen, if this thing goes off, I just want you to know that...
Officer Ziva David : This is not your fault, I know.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Uh, no. I was gonna say that your life would've had more meaning if you'd slept with me.
Officer Ziva David : If you had anything else on your mind, perhaps I would have.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Really?
Officer Ziva David : No.
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Officer Ziva David : I can't see where we're going.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : There are three ways we can get there. By train...
Officer Ziva David : That's quaint. We can be like the homos in those old movies.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : "Hobos."
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [explaining how he knows the money is counterfeit] The ink. It smells.
Officer Ziva David : Yes, like ink.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Well, our money doesn't smell.
[pulls a bill from his pocket]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Here, try it. Give it a little sniff
Officer Ziva David : [does so] That smells like stale alcohol...
[coughs]
Officer Ziva David : And your armpit.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [sniffs it] Yeah. The point is, it doesn't smell like ink.
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Officer Ziva David : Best sex movie?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : "Body Heat." William Hurt, Kathleen Turner. Smart-noir. I like the whole sweaty, chair-through-glass-door thing.
Officer Ziva David : I prefer the air conditioner on, and if somebody threw a chair through my door, I would probably shoot them.
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Officer Ziva David : [Ziva and Tony have been locked inside a shipping container] I think we've just been screwed in here, Tony!
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : The term is "bolted."
Officer Ziva David : Same difference!
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : I'll tell you this, when we get out of here we're watching "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai."
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Why are you on top of me?
Officer Ziva David : I'm protecting you, Tony.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Don't.
Officer Ziva David : Well, you didn't seem to mind when we were undercover.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : That might have something to do with the fact that you were naked.
Officer Ziva David : Perhaps if it were warmer in here...
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Let me rephrase the question, Why are you Still on top of me?
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : What is it about danger and uncertainty that makes me feel so...
Officer Ziva David : Horny?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Hungry. I'd kill for a pizza right now.
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Let's hear a Ziva David fantasy.
Officer Ziva David : It concerns you.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Ooo, I'm all ears.
Officer Ziva David : I'm a sumo wrestler.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : You can stop there.
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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Sarcasm is the refuge of a shallow mind.