- Christine Sullivan: Sir, would you like to sample my yams?
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Right here? With the lights on?
- Christine Sullivan: [Christine glares at Harry] Sir!
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Sorry, I had a Dan attack...
- Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: [Uneasily trying to introduce Lenore after the kiss] This is Lenore, my um... study buddy.
- Rosalind Jane 'Roz' Russell: Must be an oral exam.
- Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: [ducking balls of wadded-up paper] Look, Quon Le, if you really want to hurt me, you've gotta throw something heavier!
- Quon Le Robinson: Oh, I will! I'm just perfecting my aim!
- Dan Fielding: [to each of the six Rolling Rangerettes skating past him] I love your eyes. Love you thighs. Love your hips. Love your lips. Love your hair. Nice butt.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [after hearing of Irwin's rescue from a Macy's Thanksgiving balloon] You must be the luckiest man who ever lived.
- Irwin: No... Dan Quayle is.
- Phil Sanders: This food looks... what's the word I'm looking for?
- Bull Shannon: Edible?
- Phil Sanders: ...no...
- Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: Lenore, this is, this is crazy! The thing is, you're so young and I'm so... married.
- Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: [to all after they caught Mac and Lenore kissing] There's an easy explanation for all this.
- [He can't think of one and pleads with the others]
- Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: Somebody please give me an easy explanation for all this.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [after Christine explains about the cranberry sauce] Any reply and I'm going to find Myself in contempt.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [after the six Rolling Rangerettes skate in] Well it's Wheel pleasure to meet you.
- Judge Harry T. Stone: [the Courtroom Groans at the pun and Harry uses he gavel]
- Judge Harry T. Stone: Ah give me a break, I had to work on a holiday.
- Quon Le Robinson: Goodbye Mac! I'm going home to mother!
- Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: Quon Le your mother's dead!
- Quon Le Robinson: Picky! Picky!