Word must have got out by 1964 that any movement on the Moon would be in slow motion so the astrodummies move slowly in the opening scene. Unfortunately, their movement wasn't made to look naturally slow with the appropriate use of camera trickery. Instead, the actors were told to mime slow motion which just looks very silly. I would even prefer an unrealistic taking off of helmets "because the atmosphere is breathable" rather than this sort of nonsense. Especially since everything else is mostly unrealistic and kitschy anyway.
BUT, this is TOL, after all, and slow motion gave the producers yet another opportunity at padding, which occurred too often in the show.
Just kidding.
No sooner did the astrodummies discover the strange, perfectly smooth, light sphere (hence I have no idea why it's a "moonSTONE") did one of them suggest that "the Russians maybe got here first". Now, a line like this may have been somewhat forgivable in the mid-50s, but by 1964 anyone even vaguely acquainted with international politics must have known about the Space Race, which was basically a competition who'd get to the Moon first. Whoever got there first would TOOT THEIR HORNS very loudly for all to know, which is why this paranoid malarkey makes so little sense. A little later ANOTHER astromoron suggests the sphere may belong to the Russians.
After the first round of testing is done - we get the first kiss! Yes, two astrolovers in warm embrace, providing the obligatory romantic BS for female audiences... These two astronitwits blather on and on about their useless relationship while the sphere spies on them, completely unnoticed by the two astroloving astrocretins so horny that they'd make an easy zapping target even for perpetually bad-aiming "Star Wars" storm-troopers. What makes this idiotic scene extra annoying and far-fetched is that these two dolts are middle-aged, not some kids. The male astrodummie even proposes to the female! They really have no interest in all this "boring" scientific stuff, they just went to the Moon for the paycheck, it seems. Science shmience, let's shtoop instead.
Try to imagine a middle-aged couple, working on the Moon, on the historic first manned planetary base, yet so desperately horny that they can't even bother to guard a potentially huge scientific find, the sphere, because they'd rather be shtooping. No need to imagine it: this stupid episode has it.
At this point I was muttering, "please, Russian-alien sphere, kill them both... kill, kill, kill!... kill them so it hurts, kill them viciously and soon, please... kill, kill, kill!" No sooner was I done chanting these words of hope and despair, when another astrodummie character joined the two astrolovebirds... drunk. Yup, the first astrodummies on the first ever human Moon base are horny, alcoholic losers, waving around their flat little alcohol bottles when they aren't too busy flirting with the only woman in the base.
The astrodrunk hates his boss (the astrowoman's love-interest) so he goes on a tirade about his screw-ups in the Korean War. Right after this "big reveal" (which unfortunately proves to be pivotal to the plot) he somehow - for no reason at all - STUMBLES onto a machine's circuitry and gets electrocuted, in one of the dumbest and most unconvincing scenes in the entire series. No joke, this scene is as bad as any unintentional slapstick from "Bride of the Monster". There are more convincing falls in "The Room".
Then the sphere finally does something, starts speaking, though the lousy actor who plays the boss/love-interest barely even reacts.
Astroloverboy: "We can arrange to have you taken down to Earth."
Astrolovergirl: "But can we trust them?"
Astroloverboy: "Well, there's no reason not to, is there."
Yup, that's an ACTUAL conversation, word for word exact.
This astrodummie had spoken only 5 minutes to the sphere's five petunias, yet he already trusts them completely! And this guy survived Korea?! Yeah, sure...
The petunias start off an interesting plot, but what strikes me as very unrealistic is that they only have 24 hours to live without their energy source. Yet, they'd been discovered just that day, totally by chance by the three astrodummies. What a convenient coincidence. For all we know, the sphere may have been sitting buried in the sand for decades - yet now that they'd been picked, all-of-a-sudden they are 24 hours away from losing all energy? Gimme a break.
After the sphere gives the scientists the know-how to beam matter from A to B, which would revolutionary life on Earth, what does the astro-boss do? He tries to talk to his astro-honey, to discuss some of that awesome relationship hooey! After all, female fans of TOL, all 11 of them, hadn't had any romantic piffle for an entire 10 minutes! We are treated to a melodramatic conversation about what happened in Korea - while the discovery of the century is sitting on their table! Too stupid for words... I hate mainstream writers who try dabble with sci-fi. I hate the producers who hire them, even more.
The Korean War incident is directly related to everything here, but it's nevertheless too cliche.
This episode isn't all bad. The plot is OK, once we ignore the romantic BS. The closest TOL ever got to "Star Trek".
Check out my TOL list, with reviews of all the episodes.
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