The Ray Bradbury Theater (TV Series) Colonel Stonesteel and the Desperate Empties (1992) User Reviews

My Most Unforgettable Character

[Hitchcoc · 7/10 · 2 April 2015]

Brimming with syrupy sentimentality. A boy has a connection to an old colonel who is his cure for boredom. This man can take everyday events and places and turn them into the wonders of the world. On this particular day, the boy, who is thirteen, is full of ennui. The old man leads him, through suggestion as well as action, to find a way to create an event that encompasses the entire town. Taking all kinds of junk from an attic, the construct a mummy. They then plant the mummy in an unplowed field, knowing that at some point, the lazy farmer would discover it. Bradbury was a man who saw the joys of childhood and the possibilities of imagination. That's what this story gives us. It suggests that if life becomes too dry, put a charge in it and wait.

"...you may well ask, why does anyone want to build something that's old and dead?"

[classicsoncall · 6/10 · 13 February 2022]

I couldn't help but think that Ray Bradbury was giving himself a back-handed compliment with this story when the young boy Charlie (Shawn Ashmore) decided to live life full tilt and become the world's greatest writer. This after an eventful day in which he and his much older friend and mentor, the Colonel (Harold Gould), pulled a fast one on the citizens of Greentown, Illinois with their phony mummy gimmick. And to add to the commotion, they later stole it back from the sheriff's office to keep the folks talking about it for weeks and months to come. I think the town's mayor got the biggest thrill out of the whole ruse, since it put him at the center of attention calling the shots for all the news people and celebrities to come. The closing scene demonstrates just how much Charlie learned from his experience. As an adult, he found himself taking another local boy under his wing to carry the tradition forward of shaking things up when town life got just a little too dull.

The longest title....and the dullest episode?

[gridoon2024 · 2/10 · 9 August 2015]

Lord knows this show has had its share of duds, but "Colonel Stonesteel and the Desperate Empties" must be one of the biggest ones. A 13-year-old boy seeks some excitement and turns to a kooky old coot; the old coot's tiresome, incessant, largely indecipherable mumbling would be enough to drive anyone into a coma, but somehow the young boy is inspired by him and together they create a fake mummy and leave it where it will easily be discovered. The boy even puts it on a skateboard to make it look like it is "walking" and also makes it "talk" (with his own 13-year-old voice), which apparently is enough to fool the town sheriff into believing the mummy is real. I wish it WERE real, to give this episode some sort of excitement, but nope, it's a fake one all the way. 0.5 out of 4 stars.