- Lister: At the same time, you're talking about a man who in the first sign of danger runs to the back room and cowers underneath the scanning table.
- Ace Rimmer: Skipper, you can't judge a book by its cover.
- Lister: And you can't confuse Rimmer with a book. For a start, a book's got a spine.
- Ace Rimmer: Hi, fellas! How are those kippers coming along?
- [cut to Rimmer banging his head against the console]
- Ace Rimmer: [wrestling a crocodile] What I would give for a gun...
- [crocodile belches in his face]
- Ace Rimmer: ...and a bucket of Listerine!
- [one of the soldiers has crashed his bike into a hut full of explosives]
- Ace Rimmer: Bet he's a sour kraut!
- Captain Voorhese: [Floating to Earth as the aircraft explodes] Goodbye, Ace Rimmer - you were a most worthy adversary!
- [Turns to his left, to see Ace sky-surfing towards him on the back of the croc]
- Ace Rimmer: [during his daring rescue of the princess] Princess Bonjella, Ace Rimmer. There'll be time for explanations later. And hopefully, some sex.
- Princess Beryl Bonjella: What a guy!
- Ace Rimmer: Well done, Arnie; you've done us proud. Smoke me a kipper. I'll be back for...
- [He glows white, then vanishes]
- Captain Voorhese: [Walks in on Rimmer fighting the croc] Mr Rimmer! Sorry I can't stop and chat, but I've got to blow! Here, do me a favour, and feed Snappy!
- [Throws the bundle of dynamite he's holding onto the floor and steps out of the open door]