Roseanne (TV Series)

Dan's Birthday Bash (1989)

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dan : You know Vinnie, that new kid I hired?

  Roseanne : Oh you mean that 19 year old Adonis with the washboard stomach?

  Dan : You noticed.

  Roseanne : Noticed hell, I made sketches.

• Dan : Babe, I ain't the man I used to be.

  Roseanne : Yeah, but you know, Dan, you were never the man you used to be.

• Becky : [Just before leaving to have dinner at her boyfriend's house]  Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous.

  Roseanne : Just don't shoot any milk out of you nose, and you'll be fine.

• Darlene : [explaining why Dan's not there]  He yelled at Dwight and threw his hammer through the drywall.

  Roseanne : [to Chip's mother]  Well it *is* Saturday.

• Roseanne : Me and the kids civilized you when you wasn't looking.

• Bobo : Hey, let me ask your question, cuz I gotta know... what do you, and your *fat* wife, think of my new hat?

  Roseanne : [Dan looks to her]  Just this once.

  [Dan punches Bobo out, they steal his beer helmet and run] 

• Becky : What if they serve me something that makes me gag, like okra?

  Roseanne : Well, just spit it out into your napkin, you know, roll it up and shove it in your purse.

  Becky : That's gross.

  Roseanne : Not if nobody sees you.