- Jackie Harris: [Booker's in a moose costume and won't let Jackie know who he is] Come on, take off the moose head.
- Booker Brooks: I already told you, you might be disappointed and I don't want that to happen until after we've had sex.
- Jackie Harris: You're pretty sure of yourself.
- Booker Brooks: Well, hunting season starts tomorrow, so it's now or never.
- Roseanne: [walks into the kitchen and sees Dan disemboweled, turns around and Roseanne corners her with a knife] What is it, Kathy? I've had a really bad day and now I've got to clean up all of this. You know, I don't know how many times I keep telling myself, it's just like gutting a fish. I swear I was much better with Becky's dad.
- Kathy Bowman: Becky's dad?
- Roseanne: Yeah, he was blonde too. Oh hey I know, you've got a garbage disposal, don't you?
- Kathy Bowman: [cringing] Oh my God... I have to go home.
- Roseanne: Oh no, you can't go, Kathy, you'll tell.
- Kathy Bowman: [backing up] No I won't, I promise, please let me go!
- [backs into Dan who's standing behind her, turns around]
- Dan: Liver?
- [Kathy screams and runs for the door]
- Roseanne: Happy Halloween!
- Kathy Bowman: [in shock] That was horrible! Horrible!
- Roseanne: [run out of their room after finding snakes in their bed] Snakes bite and squeeze, this is going too far, Kathy's trying to kill us!
- Becky Conner: [laughing] What're you talking about? Kathy's not trying to kill you.
- Darlene Conner: Yeah, we are.
- Dan: You've made your mother and me very happy. Now get rid of the snakes.
- D.J. Conner: I'll do it.
- Darlene Conner: D.J., don't touch those snakes. I'm not untying them again.
- Jerry Bowman: [talking about a Halloween prank Dan and Roseanne pulled on Kathy earlier] Oh boy, I gotta tell you Dan, Kathy was so mad about that, she didn't say a word to me all day.
- Dan: Well I guess you owe me a beer, Jer.
- Jerry Bowman: [chuckling] Yea, I guess I do.
- Roseanne: [to Kathy, because she is convinced that Kathy is lying about wanting to seek revenge for a prank pulled on her by the Conners] Oh sure, you think you're better than me now, but when you remember the terrible thing that I did to you today, you will sink to my level like a *rock!*
- Jackie Harris: [both in black dresses and wigs] Who would've thought we'd both come dressed as Morticia Addams?
- Crystal Anderson-Conner: You're Morticia? Oh that's okay then, I'm Elvira!
- Jackie Harris: We still look like the Judds from hell.
- D.J. Conner: Mom, where are my hand grenades?
- Roseanne: In your bottom drawer. Where else would they be?
- D.J. Conner: Oh yeah, right.
- Booker Brooks: There's something that I've been wanting to ask you ever since we broke up. Why'd we break up?
- Jackie Harris: You were seeing somebody else.
- Booker Brooks: So it *was* my fault. I was afraid of that.