Laugh-In (TV Series)

Joey Bishop & Sammy Davis, Jr. (1968)

Sammy Davis Jr.: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Judge Sammy : Here come the Judge, here come the Judge, here come the Judge, here come the Judge.

  Judge Roddy : [Hits gavel twice]  Why did you stick your knife into the plaintiff?

  Pat the accused : Well, I heard the police coming, and I had to hide it somewhere.

• Sammy Davis Jr. : You know, my ancestors picked so much cotton that I still hate to open an aspirin bottle.

  Joey Bishop : If you're scoring at home, that was the first good one tonight.

  Sammy Davis Jr. : I'll tell you, I just can't win. Last night I dreamt I was white, and a colored kid beat me up.

  Joey Bishop : I thought that was funny, but I laugh at everything.

  Sammy Davis Jr. : You know, we're not too dumb. We move into a block and when the values go down, we buy up all the land and then move out.

  Joey Bishop : Here's another one that won't choke you up:

  Sammy Davis Jr. : You know, they don't make us sit in the back of the bus anymore, because they found out most of the accidents happen in the front.

  Joey Bishop : What we got here is a failure to communicate.

• Sammy Davis Jr. : Calhoun the lawyer gone be here in the mornin'.

• Sammy Davis Jr. : I plan to run in Mississippi.

  Joey Bishop : For what?

  Sammy Davis Jr. : The state line.

• Goldie Hawn : I'm Sammy Davis, Jr.

  Sammy Davis Jr. : Oh, no, you ain't. He's much taller.

• Sammy Davis Jr. : [to a group of Klansmen]  I suppose you're all wondering why I asked you here.

• Judge Sammy : [walking uptight across the screen instead of his usual swinging strutt]  Here comes the judge, here comes the judge, here comes the judge, here comes the judge, here comes the judge.

  Judge Roddy : [bangs his gavel]  The prisoner is not guilty of theft.

  Pat the accused : Does that mean I don't have to give back the watch?