- Old Lady #1: When my ex-husband passed away, the insurance company said his policy didn't cover him.
- Old Lady #2: They didn't have enough money for the funeral.
- Old Lady #3: It's so hard nowadays, with all the gangs and rap music.
- Old Lady #1: What about robots?
- Old Lady #4: Oh, they're everywhere!
- Old Lady #1: I don't even know why the scientists make them.
- Old Lady #2: Darren and I have a policy with Old Glory Insurance, in case we're attacked by robots.
- Old Lady #1: An insurance policy with a robot plan? Certainly, I'm too old.
- Old Lady #2: Old Glory covers anyone over the age of 50 against robot attack, regardless of current health.
- Sam Waterston: I'm Sam Waterston, of the popular television series "Law & Order". As a senior citizen, you're probably aware of the threat robots pose. Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel. Well, now there's a company that offers coverage against the unfortunate event of a robot attack, with Old Glory Insurance. Old Glory will cover you with no health check-up or age consideration. You need to feel safe. And that's harder and harder to do nowadays, because robots may strike at any time.
- Sam Waterston: [a pie chart appears, reading "Cause of Death in Persons Over 50 Years of Age": Heart Disease, 42% - Robots, 58%] And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free... because they're made of metal, and robots are strong. Now, for only $4 a month, you can achieve peace of mind in a world full of grime and robots, with Old Glory Insurance. So, don't cower under your afghan any longer. Make a choice. Old Glory Insurance. For when the metal ones decide to come for you - and they will.