- Weekend Update Anchor: According to a recent study published in New Choices magazine, the more household chores a husband does, the more likely his wife is to report having good sex. The article explains that when a man does a substantial amount of housework, it gives his wife some time to go out and find a real man to have sex with.
- Dr. Garling: [Peepers has been reunited with his family] Maybe, "Ba" means "Love"...
- Linda Garling: I Ba you, Mr. Peepers! I Ba you!
- [the four Peepers embrace and shout Ba at each other]
- Dr. Garling: That's more beautiful than any Shakespearean sonnet.
- Tinkerbell: What the hell have I done with my life? I'm like the fairy equivalent of a thirty-eight year-old woman. And I've spent most of my adult life chasing around a ten year-old in tights. I can't read or write. I'm named "Tinkerbell", for God's sake! Well, screw it! It's time for Tink to get some booze in her gut, and her legs in the air!
- Dr. Brainio: [to Bighead] Oh, please, you wouldn't know what to do with a Suzy if it came in the mail.