- Weekend Update Anchor: Senator Edward Kennedy's wife Joan, who has lived alone for the past two years, said this week that if her husband were elected President, she would live in the White House. Kennedy, informed ofher decision, immediately withdrew from the race.
- Abdul Asad: This is my daughter, Fatima.
- Bob Lewis: Well, you're very pretty, Fatima.
- Mudhad Asad: [holds a large curved sword to Lewis' neck] My sister is not a prostitute.
- Bob Lewis: Ah, what I meant was, eh... Fatima looks, eh, very chaste, eh... impenetrable.
- Abdul Asad: Ah, thank you.