- Dr. Perry Cox: Well, now, Maggie! I can only assume that you are whiling away the morning cat-chatting with your favorite gal-pal because you've already finished your pre-rounding?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: I haven't even started yet.
- Dr. Perry Cox: What?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Gotcha! Finished!
- Dr. Perry Cox: That's a good one, Newbie. My heart is racing. You are quite the prankster.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: I could tell you some stories.
- Dr. Perry Cox: And if there's a God in heaven, you never will.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: It's like, I don't feel attractive at all lately. Like I've lost my spark or something.
- Dr. Elliot Reid: Oh, please! Remember what Kelso said about your hair yesterday?
- Dr. Bob Kelso: [Flashback: Dr. Kelso faces the camera] It makes you look frumpy!
- Dr. Elliot Reid: [Back to present] I thought he said "clumpy"!
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: ...How is that better?
- Dr. Peter Fisher: You know what -- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you; I do want to hear the end of that story, though -- could you get a pulmonary consult for Sally for me?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Yeah, we--yeah.
- Dr. Peter Fisher: You're probably thinking, Why didn't you do that before I got here? But you weren't sure if you'd be over-stepping your boundaries. What if I was some sort of territorial ass with a giant ego -- or a territorial ego with a giant ass.
- [to the patient]
- Dr. Peter Fisher: Stop me, Sally, please!
- Dr. Peter Fisher: [about Dr. Cox] You wouldn't believe this, but that guy was my mentor, man. I mean, I lived and breathed for that guy's approval.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: That's lame.
- Dr. Peter Fisher: I know! Once you learn the tricks, though, he's easier to deal with; you'll see.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Tell me about it.
- Dr. Peter Fisher: [laughing] Yeah!
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: No, no, I'm serious -- tell me about it.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Oh, my goodness, Newbie. Are you so uncomfortable with Jordan here that you've, in fact, stopped peeing mid-stream?
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [uncomfortable] ... I may have.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [J.D. and Dr. Cox are in the men's room]
- [Voice over]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Okay, you've been avoiding Dr. Cox ever since Jordan told you her baby was actually his. But this chance meeting is a sign. It's time to let go of the secret. You just need to find a smooth way in.
- [Out loud]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Hey, Dr. Cox. Takin' a wizz?
- Dr. Perry Cox: We've been over this before, Newbie -- eyes front, no talking.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: [Voice over] Okay, fine. I'll just read the wall.
- [Out loud]
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: J.D. has a tiny pickle?
- Dr. Perry Cox: Kudos for honesty, there, Newbie -- but, again, no talking.
- Dr. Perry Cox: This is Mrs. Gracin's chart -- her private practice doctor just showed up, so I am off this one.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Well, is there anything I need to do for her lung nodule?
- Dr. Perry Cox: [From down the hall] Oh, I don't know. What do you say you start her on 20 CCs of It's not my problem anymore!