The Simpsons (TV Series)
Bart Carny (1998)
Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Krusty, Screamatorium Repair Man, Colonel Tex
Quotes
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Homer : Oh, he's sitting in the ass-groove. It took me years to work in that groove!
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Chief Wiggum : Uh, I hate to interrupt your fun boys, but I got a few complaints that your game is crooked.
Homer : [laughs] And how.
Chief Wiggum : Gee, I'd hate to close you down. Maybe we can reach a little, uh, understanding here.
[holds out his hand]
Homer : [monotone] I understand.
Bart : Um, hey, Dad, I... I think he wants...
Homer : Not right now, Son. Daddy's talking to a policeman.
Chief Wiggum : Uh, let me put it this way. I'm looking for my friend Bill.
[glances down at the cash box]
Chief Wiggum : Have you seen any Bills around here?
Homer : No.
[points to Bart]
Homer : He's Bart.
Chief Wiggum : [groans] Listen carefully, and watch me wink as I speak, okay?
Homer : Okay.
Chief Wiggum : The guy I'm really looking for, wink,
[winks]
Chief Wiggum : is Mr. Bribe, wink, wink.
[winks twice]
Homer : It's a ring toss game.
Chief Wiggum : All right, that's it. I'm shutting this game down.
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[Homer is taunting a shark]
Homer : Come on Sharky. Call yourself the king of the jungle?
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Homer : You can't outsmart carnival folk. They're the cleverest folk in the world. Just look at the way they sucker regular folk with their crooked games.
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Homer : Carnies *built* this country - the carnival part of it, anyway.
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Rich Texan : Some say Hitler's skeleton is in the trunk; others say its just a spare tire. I'm a busy man, so I haven't checked.