The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart Star (1997)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Crazy Old Guy, Grampa, Krusty

Quotes 

• Homer Simpson : Hey, Apu, you got that new beer with candy floating in it... Skittlebrau?

  Apu : No such product exists sir. You must have dreamt it.

  Homer Simpson : Well then, just gimme a six pack and a bag of Skittles.

• Homer : Son, I just want you to know I have total faith in you.

  Bart : Since when?

  Homer : Since your mother yelled at me.

• Homer Simpson : Hey, Flanders, you're the worst coach this team has ever had!

  Marge Simpson : He's the only coach this team has ever had. And the season hasn't even started yet.

  Homer Simpson : Yeah, well, he's... wearing that hat like an idiot.

  Marge Simpson : You know, Homer, it's very easy to criticize.

  Homer Simpson : Fun too.

• Homer Simpson : Good practice, kids. Now it's time for the easiest part of any coach's job. The cuts. Although I wasn't able to cut everyone I wanted to, I have cut a lot of you. Wendell is cut. Rudy is cut. Janey, you're gone. Steven, I like your hustle.

  [Steven smiles] 

  Homer Simpson : That's why it was so hard to cut you.

  [Steven's smile drops] 

  Homer Simpson : Congratulations, the rest of you made the team!

  [random sighs of relief] 

  Homer Simpson : Except you, you, and you.

• Marge Simpson : Wow, Homer coaching in the championship game! You must be pretty proud of your son!

  Grampa Simpson : You'd think so, wouldn't you?

  [falls asleep] 

• Marge Simpson : You know, Homer, it's very easy to criticize.

  Homer Simpson : Fun, too.

• Homer : Hello, Son. I wanna apologize. I got so caught up in trying to encourage you, that I was blinded to your stinky performance. If you come back and play for the team, I promise I'll never encourage you again.

• Homer Simpson : [Cat Calling]  Flaaaaanders! Flaaaaaaanders!

  Ned Flanders : [Agitated]  What, what is it?

  Homer Simpson : Game's out there, ha ha ha made ya look!

• Dr. Hibbert : Well, your cholesterol level is lethally high, Homer, but I'm more concerned about your gravy level.

  Homer Simpson : Now, wait a second. You doctors have been telling us to drink eight glasses of gravy a day!

  Dr. Hibbert : [laughs]  Well, you're a little confused.

  Homer Simpson : Oh, confused, would we?

• Homer Simpson : My father never believed in me! I'm not gonna make the same mistake. From now on I'm gonna be kinder to my son and meaner to my dad.

• Marge Simpson : Now, make no mistake. When I say "first aid" I'm not talking about some sort of... charity rock concert.

  [laughs at her own joke] 

  Marge Simpson : I'm talking about treating serious injuries!

  [the crowd laughs loudly] 

  Krusty : Serious injuries!

  [writes it down] 

  Krusty : Ooh, that's gold!

• Bart Simpson : I got bad news for you, Dad.

  Homer Simpson : Oh, your mother is not pregnant, is she?

• Ned Flanders : Good luck, Homer. No hard feelings!

  Homer Simpson : Not so easy to keep your mouth shut now, is it, Flanders?

• [Last lines] 

  Homer Simpson : [Reading the end credits]  Scully, you're cut. Uh, Brooks, Groening, Simon, you're all cut. Castellaneta, gone. Kavner, cut. Cartwright, cut. Smith, sorry, cut. Azaria and Shearer, you're cut. Firestone, you're cut. So is Judge. Namath, you stay. All of those people are cut. Bill Schultz, Wolf, and Silverman, Goldreyer, O'Brien, Doyle, Selman, I don't know what you're... Elliott, I don't know what you're doing here because you're all cut. Pietila, Bridge, Kuwahara. Now there's so many cuts here, look, I'll just post them up and you just see where your name is. Ooh, look at how many cuts there are there. Oh boy! You're cut, all of you. He's cut, I cut you. You're cut too, Shushy!

• Homer : Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?

  Apu : Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.

  Homer : Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.