The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart's Friend Falls in Love (1992)

Pamela Hayden: Milhouse Van Houten, Commercial Narrator

Quotes 

• Milhouse : How could this have happened? We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but instead it ended in tragedy.

• Milhouse : Bart, I don't want you to see me cry.

  Bart : Aw come on, I've seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee, you cry when we're out of chocolate milk, you cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over.

  Milhouse : Well, I didn't want you to see me cry THIS time.

• Milhouse : [re: the magic eight-ball]  Hey, Bart. Was this thing right about your test?

  Bart : To those of you who doubt the power of the magic eight-ball, I say: behold my "F"!

• Luann Van Houten : Bart, I'm glad you're here. Milhouse could use a friend like you.

  [Bart chuckles nervously. Later, up in Milhouse's room] 

  Bart : Listen, Milhouse, I have something to confess: I'm the one who narked on your kissing.

  Milhouse : *What*?

  [He tackles Bart to the floor and starts to throttle him. Milhouse's parents come in] 

  Luann Van Houten : Milhouse is out of bed and full of beans!

  Kirk Van Houten : Whoa, it's a miracle!

  [Smiling, they leave and close the door, as Milhouse continues strangling Bart] 

• Bart : [trying out Milhouse's new 8-Ball]  Will I pass my test today. "Outlook not so good." Hey, it does work!

  Milhouse : Let me try! Will I get beat up today? "All signs point to yes."

  Nelson Muntz : That ball knows everything!

  [Hits Milhouse over the head] 

• [Homer gasping for air due to being so out of shape] 

  Commercial Announcer : We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter, then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it "The Good Morning Burger".

  [Homer starts gurgling in ecstasy] 

• Samantha Stanky : Milhouse, I've gotta go! My dad thinks I'm having my braces examined.

  Milhouse : Well, you kinda sorta are.

  Bart : Milhouse, we're living in the age of cooties. I can't believe the risk you're running. Besides, what's so great about kissing?

  Milhouse : Bart, it's not just the kissing. A lot of it is waiting to kiss. You know, like when you open an Eskimo Pie and you wait just a little bit for it to melt.

  Bart : But she doesn't melt!

  Milhouse : Oh, yes she does!

• Commercial Announcer : We start with pure milk chocolate.

  Homer Simpson : Chocolate!

  Commercial Announcer : Add a layer of farm-fresh honey.

  Homer Simpson : Oh, sweet!

  Commercial Announcer : Then we sprinkle on four kinds of sugar... and dip it in rich, creamery butter!