The Simpsons (TV Series)

Dumbbell Indemnity (1998)

Hank Azaria: Moe, Waiter, Chief Wiggum, Lou, Snake, Politician in 'Hail to the Chimp', Camp Policeman

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Homer is underwater] 

  Chief Wiggum : That car thief can't hold his breath forever.

  Lou : And if he can, Chief?

  Chief Wiggum : Then God help us all!

• Homer Simpson : Whatever happened to your mail order bride?

  Moe Szyslak : Oh, she got homesick for her old life; diving for tourist pennies in a Micronesian swamp.

  Homer Simpson : So, her career got in the way.

  Moe Szyslak : Ehh, I don't blame her. No girl wants to end up with a Joe Puke-Pail like me.

  Homer Simpson : Now, now, I won't hear of it, Moe. You're a fabulous catch.

  Moe Szyslak : Oh yeah? Well, uh, how come I ain't fending off movie stars with a pointy stick?

  Homer Simpson : Oh, its probably due to your ugliness. But, that doesn't mean we can't find you a woman!

• Homer : [in jail; looks out window and sees Moe singing about going to Hawaii]  Hawaii? What about Hawaii? Moe, who's going to Hawaii? Am I going to Hawaii?

  Chief Wiggum : [bangs on Homer's jail cell]  Stop saying "Hawaii" in there.

• Moe Szyslak : Homer, I need your help. You got to steal this car and wreck it for me.

  Homer Simpson : Steal? Oh no, you got the wrong guy.

  Moe Szyslak : Come on Homer, I'm one of your dearest friends... When everybody said you were to drunk to drive that time, who gave you your keys?

  Homer Simpson : Aww... You did.

• [Moe is describing a plan to Homer] 

  Moe : Okay Homer, this olive is you...

  Homer : Mmm... me...

• Moe : Bring us your finest food, stuffed with your second-finest.

  Waiter : Very well, the lobster stuffed with tacos.

• Moe : Ronee's not gonna want to go out with no Joe Pinchpenny.

• Chief Wiggum : Your fingerprints are just like snowflakes. They're both very pretty.