The Simpsons (TV Series)

Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder (1999)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Krusty the Clown, Grampa Simpson, Itchy, Happy Little Elf #1, Hans Moleman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chief Wiggum : Alright smart guy, where's the fire?

  Homer Simpson : Over there.

  [Homer points to a fire at the police station] 

  Chief Wiggum : Okay, you just bought yourself a 317, pointing out police stupidity... Or is that a 314? Nah nah, 314 is a dog uh, in, no or is that a 315?... You're in trouble pal.

• Lenny : Hey Carl, check out the overhead scoreboard.

  Carl : [laughs]  Poo... Ah, Homer. What whacky name do you want?

  Homer Simpson : Are poo and ass taken?

  Carl : Yeah.

  Homer Simpson : Damn! Could my life get any worse?

  [Burns appears on Homer's bowling ball] 

  Montgomery Burns : Simpson! Duhf, even for a bowler you're fat.

  Homer Simpson : Hey guys, is it normal to see Burns' face on a bowling ball?

  Lenny : Nnh, actually I'd say you're having a severe psychotic episode.

  Homer Simpson : Ugh, what a rotten day!

  [Homer rolls a strike] 

  Lenny : Wow, a strike. Hey, if that's psychotic, then why am I taking these?

  [Lenny throws out his pills] 

• [after Homer bowls another strike] 

  Lenny : Hey Homer, that's four strikes in a row! You've got a perfect game going.

  Homer Simpson : Really?

  Carl : Careful what you say Lenny, you'll jinx him.

  Lenny : Oh, right, sorry.

  Lenny : Miss! Miss!... Sorry, I was calling the waitress...

  [talking to waitress] 

  Lenny : Uh, this split you sold me is making me choke.

  Homer Simpson : Lenny!

  Lenny : What? I paid seven-ten for this split.

  Carl : Would you at least call it a banana split, you dumbwad?

  Lenny : Hey, spaaare me your gutter mouth.

  [Lenny gets hit in the groin with Homer's bowling ball] 

• Homer : I don't need your pity or your money.

  [pockets money] 

  Ron Howard : Usually when you say that, you give the money back.

• [Homer takes Maggie to the beach] 

  Homer Simpson : See Maggie, the ocean is just like a bathtub, except instead of rubber duckies it has barracudas and moray eels.

• [Homer gets pulled out to sea by a giant rip tide] 

  Homer Simpson : Nothing to worry about. Just a little wave. And this rip tide is certainly nothing daddy can't struggle against. Help! Help! Somebody Help!... Current too strong... I know, if I sink to the bottom I can run to the shore.

  [Homer sinks to the bottom, but quickly loses energy and has to come back up] 

  Homer Simpson : Maggie! Call Aquaman!

• [Homer is dressed up as a Teletubby, with a TV and a wire hanger attached to him] 

  Homer : Hey, Maggie. I'm Homey-Womey, the Teletubby. And, I'm all man, in case you've heard otherwise.

• Lenny : [Homer is on his way to bowling a perfect game. Lenny calls the waitress as Homer is about to roll the ball]  Miss! Miss!

  [Homer looks back at Lenny] 

  Lenny : Sorry. I was calling the waitress.

  [Homer looks back to the pins] 

  Lenny : Uh, this split you sold me is making me choke.

  [Waitress takes banana split] 

  Homer : [Homer looks back at Lenny]  Lenny...

  Lenny : What? I paid $7.10 for this split.

  Carl : Would you at least call it a banana split, you dumwad?

  Lenny : Hey, spare me your gutter-mouth

  [Homer throws the bowling ball at Lenny. Lenny groans in pain] 

• Homer : I know! If I sink to the bottom, I can run to shore.

• Krusty the Clown : Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hanta virus? That came out of left field. So if you're experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box...

  [gets interrupted by a newscast]