The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer the Great (1995)

Hank Azaria: Plumber, Carl, Moe Szyslak, Founding Father, Chief Wiggum, Mr. T

Photos 

Quotes 

• Homer : I swear, that if I ever reveal the secrets of the Stonecutters, that my stomach shall become bloated, and my head plucked of all but three hairs...

  Moe Szyslak : Um, I think he should have to take a different oath.

  Number One : Everybody takes the same oath!

• Homer Simpson : [being stripped of his Stonecutter robes after inadvertently destroying the Sacred Parchment]  Please don't kick me out. This society is everything to me! Please give me another chance! I've learned my lesson! I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON!

  [as he's shouting, he bangs on the Sacred Parchment, ripping it] 

  Stonecutter : That's it! How can we punish him further?

  Homer Simpson : Oh, sorry.

  Number One : Homer Simpson, for your continuing and *baffling* desecration of our beloved Sacred Parchment, you are hereby banished from the Stonecutters forever! And as a final humiliation, you must walk home naked, dragging behind you the Stone of Shame.

  [Homer has a collar attached to him with a large boulder behind him. The other Stonecutters gasp at a mark on Homer's side] 

  Dr. Hibbert : The mark!

  Homer Simpson : Oh, that's just a birthmark and I'll thank you not to stare!

  Moe Szyslak : He's the Chosen One!

  [they all bow before him] 

  Number One : You are the Chosen One, whom the Sacred Parchment prophesied would lead us to glory! Now to the top of Mt. Springfield for the coronation! Remove the Stone of Shame.

  Homer Simpson : Woo-hoo!

  Number One : Attach the Stone of Triumph!

  Homer Simpson : [finds out the Stone of Triumph is twice the size of the Stone of Shame]  OHH!