The Simpsons (TV Series)

Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington (2003)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Louie, Mayor Quimby, Grampa Simpson, Krusty the Clown, Rich Texan, Sideshow Mel, Larry Fine, John Armstrong, Elderly Congressman, Currency Committee Member 1, Janitor

Quotes 

• Marge Simpson : Krusty! We came to see how many campaign promises you've kept.

  Krusty the Clown : Uh, let's see... did I promise to be a slave to big oil?

  Marge Simpson : No.

  Krusty the Clown : Well, then none.

• Krusty the Clown : Look at this list of words they won't let me say on the air.

  Bart Simpson : Oh, all the good ones. Hmm, I never even heard of number nine.

  Krusty the Clown : It's doing thirteen while she's eleven-ing your five.

• Krusty the Clown : Uh, just one thing. Are you guys any good at covering up any youthful and middle-aged indiscretions?

  Mr. Burns : Are these indiscretions romantic, financial, or treasonous?

  Krusty the Clown : A Russian hooker. You tell me.

  Mr. Burns : Oh, no problem. We'll say you were on a fact-finding mission.

  Krusty the Clown : I did find out one fact. She was a guy.

• Elderly Congressman : Why, this news make my blood boil, my left arm feel numb, my mouth taste of copper! Arrgggh!

  [congressman collapses] 

  Marge : He's had a heart-attack! Quick someone do CPR!

  Homer Simpson : [singing]  I see a bad moon rising...

  Marge : No that's CCR!

  Homer Simpson : Errr...

  [singing] 

  Homer Simpson : Looks like we're in for nasty weather...

• [Homer bursts into Congress, drunk] 

  Homer : You call this a bicameral legislature?

• [the Simpsons' drywall collapses and Maggie crawls out of it] 

  Homer : [in baby talk]  Maggie. That's where you were, honey. You were hiding in the drywall, yes you were. Daddy's sure happy Social Services didn't see this, yes he is.

• Homer : Krusty, you let everyone down. And even worse, you let down this sacred document.

  [Homer brandishes a rolled-up scroll] 

  Krusty the Clown : You're right. It's time I made a difference!

  [Krusty storms off] 

  Lisa Simpson : Dad, this is a kids menu where you help Yogi Bear get to the Washington Monument.

  Homer : ...stained with the blood of American patriots.

  Lisa Simpson : That's jelly.

  Homer : ...from the Unknown Toaster.

  [Homer salutes] 

• Krusty the Clown : you cant judge me that skit it was in a diffrent time 1998.