The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Canine Mutiny (1997)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marge Simpson : [Maggie dumps a bowl of oatmeal over her head]  Oh, Maggie, you got oatmeal all over.

  [to Homer] 

  Marge Simpson : Homie, would you clean her off?

  Homer : [salutes]  Can do.

  [lifts Maggie out of her highchair and places her on the kitchen floor] 

  Homer : Laddie!

  [whistles] 

  Homer : Come here, boy! Who wants to lick a messy baby?

  [pauses] 

  Homer : Laddie?

  Bart : Uh, Dad? Laddie's not coming. I gave him away.

  Marge Simpson : What's the matter, Bart? Weren't you happy with him?

  Bart : No, he just wasn't the right dog for me. I'm sure he'll be happy as a police dog.

  Homer : [angrily]  He better know how to keep his mouth shut.

  Marge Simpson : Well, if that's what you think is best... let's just go down to the kennel and get Santa's Little Helper back.

  Bart : Uh, we can't. He's not in a kennel. I gave him away too, and I don't know where he is.

  Homer : You gave both dogs away? You know how I feel about giving!

  Bart : [tearfully]  I'm sorry. I know it's wrong. I messed everything up! And now I don't have any dogs at all!

  Homer : [consoles Bart]  There, there. Shut up, boy. We'll just get you a new dog.

  Bart : I don't want a new dog! I want Santa's Little Helper!

  Homer : Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back... unless your tears smell like dog food. So, you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food... until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back... or you can go out there and find your dog!

  Bart : You're right. I'll do it!

  [leaves the kitchen] 

  Homer : Rats! I almost had him eatin' dog food.