Superman: The Animated Series (TV Series)

The Main Man: Part I (1996)

Brad Garrett: Lobo

Quotes 

• Lobo : The name's Lobo. That's L as in "lacerate," O as in "obliterate," B as in "disem-bowel," and O as in, uh... well, I guess I can use "obliterate" twice. Huh, what do you think?

  Superman : I think you're a certifiable madman.

  [picks Lobo up and throws him into a police car] 

  Lobo : Thanks.

• Lobo : Holy fragaroni! F-feels like I'm being torn apart! Cool.

• Lobo : Hey, how's it going, chief? Uh, maybe you can help me, I'm new in town and I'm looking to find this geek here.

  [He tosses down a hologram of Superman] 

  Desk Cop : Superman? We don't keep tabs on him. He only shows up if there's trouble.

  Lobo : [grins]  I can do trouble.

  [He draws his blaster] 

• Lobo : [to Superman]  Now, the more you move, the worse it'll hurt, so feel free to go crazy.

• Lobo : [kicks Superman into a police car]  First rule of hunting, Super Dupe. Make the target come to *you*.

  Superman : [waits till Lobo gets a little closer, then hits him hard across the face, knocking him into a street light]  Good advice.

• [after Lobo crashes a hole through Lexcorp's tower, Luthor stands barking orders] 

  Lex Luthor : Get maintenance teams on every floor! Put them on round-the-clock shifts if you have to, but I want all repairs completed...

  [Lobo crashes through the floor and up through the ceiling] 

  Lobo : KILL-REND-FRAG-DESTROY!

  Lex Luthor : ...immediately!

• Lobo : Adios, Wrinkles. You want any more rare dorks snagged, you got my number.

  Preserver : Actually, there is one other being I need for my collection: the last Czarnian.

  Lobo : Ha! That's rich! I'm the last Czarnian.

  [to Superman] 

  Lobo : I fragged the rest of the planet for my high school science project. Gave myself an "A."

• [Lobo sits in the police station, idly shooting holes in the walls] 

  Lobo : [yawns]  Ah, this is getting lame. I thought he'd be here by now. Whoa! Mosquito!

  [fires again] 

• Superman : I guess the only way to reason with you is to take away your toys.

  Lobo : Hey! Hands off my hog!

• Lobo : Finally. I've been trying to get in touch with you all day.

  Superman : Who are you?

  Lobo : Oh, I'm sorry. My card.

  [he throws a punch] 

• Lobo : Hey! Monkey want a 'nana?

  Superman : When I get out, I'm shoving that arrogant smirk right down your throat.

  Lobo : Oh, yeah. You know, I believe that Lois gal might be getting a tad lonely now that you're doing time in a cosmic petting zoo. Maybe I'll go back and cheer her up.

  [pulling Sqweek up by the leash around his neck] 

  Lobo : Of course, I do have to collect the bounty on this geek first. Emperor Spewge got a bad temper on him.

• Superman : Congratulations, Professor. Your team did a fantastic job of refitting this vehicle for space travel. It's hard to believe it's the same rocket that brought me to Earth.

  Professor Hamilton : It was our honor, Superman. To study a vehicle like this is any scientist's dream. Where did you say you've kept it all these years?

  Superman : I didn't.

  Professor Hamilton : Sorry. I didn't mean to pry, but I can't help wondering about the civilizations on other worlds; their great achievements, their brilliant minds.

  Lobo : [at a bar on another planet]  I'm giving you geeks ten seconds before I frag everything in sight. One...

  [taking out his blaster] 

  Lobo : ...Ten!

• Professor Hamilton : But you've never tested the vehicle in deep space before, let alone under combat conditions.

  Superman : I can't risk that maniac coming back to Earth, Professor. I've got one chance to drive him away, and I'm taking it.

  [turning off the video link and turning on his radar] 

  Superman : Sensors have picked up his bike's ion trail. He's close, but I can't get a definite fix.

  Lobo : [smashing the canopy with his crowbar]  Ding dong. Lobo calling.

  Superman : Hi, there.

  [he presses a button, and the rocket electrocutes Lobo] 

  Lobo : [getting onto his bike]  Okay, frag face. Let's tango.

• Sqweek : Hey, Lobo, long time, no...

  [Lobo squeezes him by the throat] 

  Sqweek : ...see!

  Lobo : Emperor Spewge knows it was you what pilfered his treasury, Sqweek. He's paying me to bring the dough back in a nice little pile.

  Sqweek : What about me?

  Lobo : Same deal.

  Sqweek : Framed! I was framed.

  Lobo : [picking up a spittoon]  Is that so?

  Sqweek : [getting stuffed inside]  No! No! Help!

• Superman : I've never seen a creature like this.

  Lobo : [blowing a kiss]  I love you, too.

• Preserver : Behold. Gathered here are the rarest creatures in the universe, each the last survivor of its race.

  Lobo : So you got a thing for varmints. So what?

  Preserver : Many years ago, the planet Krypton was destroyed. I had long believed all members of the Kryptonian race were extinct, until I found evidence of one living on a distant world called Earth.

  Lobo : [seeing a hologram of Superman]  Looks like a first-class wimp to me.

  Preserver : He is more than he appears.

  Lobo : Sluggo, I got better ways to waste my time than rounding up bugs for your flea circus. So, if you'll hand over the runt, I'll cancel the homemade colostomy I'm planning to inflict on your tiny, wrinkled...

  [a trunk full of jewels appears] 

  Lobo : ...ah! Oh, mama! That's a lot of mai tais. Hoo-ah!

  Preserver : You deliver the last Kryptonian, and the jewels are yours. Do we have a bargain?

  Lobo : Hose down a cage, boss. You're getting a new monkey.

• Lobo : Dang, man. I got to say I am impressed. When I seen you go after that rocket, I couldn't figure what you were doing. Then it hit me. You didn't want anyone else gettin' hurt, even if you took the fragging yourself. You actually care about them geeks.

  Superman : They're human beings.

  Lobo : Yeah, well, they're gonna have to make do without their big blue babysitter from now on. See, someone's paying me a heap of cash for your carcass, and the Main Man always delivers.

• Gnaww : Hey, leave my little brother alone.

  Lobo : Well, if it ain't Gnaww Vermin and his roach motel rejects. Don't tell me you're after this bounty, too.

  Gnaww : If anyone's gonna collect on Sqweek, it's gonna be family. Hand him over.

  Lobo : Sure.

  [he throws the spittoon with Sqweek inside, hitting Gnaww in the head] 

  Lobo : I was hoping I'd see some excitement on this job.

  [knocking two heads together] 

  Lobo : Heh, guess not.

• Preserver : You are Lobo: assassin, brigand, sociopath, monster.

  Lobo : [spitting]  You left out "scourge of the cosmos."

  Preserver : And the most ruthless bounty hunter in the galaxy. I want to hire you.

  Lobo : Sorry, dude. I'm already on a job.

  [the spittoon containing Sqweek disappears] 

  Lobo : Hey!

  Preserver : Your prisoner will be held until you return. Besides, this job should be no great task to one with your skills.

• Lois Lane : Leave him alone! Go on, get out of here.

  Lobo : Well, little lady... hello.

  Superman : Lois, stay back.

  Lois Lane : [kicking him]  Pipe down, junior.

  [turning his attention back to Lois] 

  Lobo : Lois, huh? Guess that means you know this loser, right, honeybuns? You his girlfriend or something?

  Lois Lane : Drop dead.

  Lobo : [taking her makeshift crowbar and chomping it to pieces]  Of course, any babe with class would rather be hanging with the Main Man. Why don't you show ol' Lobo how classy you are?

  Lois Lane : You pig!

  [slapping him and recoiling in pain] 

  Lois Lane : Ow!

  Lobo : Ha! I like a babe who plays rough. Come on, let me have another, right here.

• Superman : Get up.

  [pulling Lobo up] 

  Superman : I said, get up.

  Lobo : You ain't half the Boy Scout you're cracked up to be. Looks like I'm in for a real fight.

  [knocking Supe down with his bike] 

  Lobo : I think I'll take five until I'm ready to resume kicking the collective butts of you and everyone else on this dungheap. Ciao.