- Officer Stacy Sheridan: Too bad, Hooker makes such a cute Santa Claus. It's a shame to waste the costume.
- Officer Stacy Sheridan: Where's your Christmas spirit, partner?
- Officer Jim Corrigan: Where Romano's is right now. We were invited to an all night party at the Beale sisters and right now they're probably oiled down under the mistletoe with two other guys.
- Officer Stacy Sheridan: Oiled down? What are they gonna do, swim the Channel?
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: [dressed as Santa Claus] Hey, give me a break, would ya? I'm a cop, undercover.
- Santa Claus: And I'm Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I've been working this same corner for six years and you're train jumpin', bub!
- Officer Vince Romano: How's vice doing with Carlita Frasier?
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: They heard she's sworn off turning tricks for Christmas and strictly legit.
- Officer Vince Romano: Yeah?
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: She's working in a small joint on 52nd as a topless dancer.
- Officer Vince Romano: Aha... sounds, eh... educational. I'm into dance, you know.
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: I figured. We'll cruise by there tonight.
- Officer Vince Romano: You think she can give us George Marino?
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: It's the one Christmas present I want, junior.
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: You talked to your ex?
- Officer Jim Corrigan: Yeah.
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: And?
- Officer Jim Corrigan: She said 'Merry Christman, the divorce is final'.
- Sgt. T.J. Hooker: Welcome to the club.