Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
Bad News from the Clinic (2004)
Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper
Quotes
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Charlie Harper : [Alan asks Charlie why he isn't out on a date with his new lady friend] Sherri? I'm playing that slow.
Alan Harper : Really? Do you mean at, uh, a leisurely pace, or as if you were developmentally challenged?
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Charlie Harper : [about Jake] Man, that kid guards his plate like a one-armed inmate, doesn't he?
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Alan Harper : [Charlie plans to break up with Sherri] Why?
Charlie Harper : Because she's a self-centered, manipulative narcissist.
Alan Harper : So are you.
Charlie Harper : Hello?
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Alan Harper : Look, if you feel so strongly about this girl, why don't you just call her?
Charlie Harper : Yeah, sure, I could call her. I could also Fed-Ex her my testicles in a little silk bag.
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Rose : Let's review. She's gorgeous, but she's also self-centered. She's promiscuous, she's commitment phobic...
Charlie Harper : Oh, my God! I'm dating myself! No wonder the sex is so good.
