Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls (2004)
Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper
Quotes
-
Charlie Harper : Hey, did you know that Mom's birthday was a couple of weeks ago?
Alan : Yeah. I sent her some flowers and a card.
Charlie Harper : Ah, man! Would it have killed you to put my name on the card?
Alan : As a matter of fact, I did put your name on it. I... I wrote, "Love, your sons, Alan and Charlie".
Charlie Harper : Damn.
Alan : What?
Charlie Harper : She tricked me into thinking I forgot!
-
Charlie Harper : [sees Alan writing a check] Hmm. Tequila. Checkbook. Sour puss. Must be alimony time!
-
Charlie Harper : [Charlie sees the size of Alan's alimony payment] Boy! You'd think for all that money, she'd at least come over and give you a lap dance!
-
Charlie Harper : So, where's Jake?
Alan : Sleeping at a friend's. He'll get dropped off tomorrow.
Charlie Harper : Oh, man! I rented a movie I thought he'd like.
Alan : Oh? What'd you get?
Charlie Harper : Don't worry. It's educational.
Alan : [Charlie gives Alan the DVD] "One Million Years B.C."? How... How is this educational?
Charlie Harper : Raquel Welch running from dinosaurs in a fur bikini? What is that, if not history?