Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Sarah Like Puny Alan (2004)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Alan Harper : [Charlie wants Alan to go on a double date]  Alright. Even if I weren't deathly ill, which I am, I wouldn't go on a blind double-date with *you*.

  Charlie Harper : Why not?

  Alan Harper : Summer of my junior year? The Seals & Crofts concert? You got the incredible cheerleader and I got her sister... the Incredible Hulk!

  Charlie Harper : Oh, yeah. She really took a shine to you.

  Alan Harper : [imitating his date]  "Sarah like puny Alan".

• Charlie Harper : Alan, trust me. I've seen the sister. Her name is Desiree.

  Alan Harper : I don't care what her name is!

  Charlie Harper : Desiree, Alan. That's like "desire" with a "yay!" at the end.

• Charlie Harper : Yeah, we're done. Now we're gonna get your father back on his feet.

  Jake Harper : How?

  Charlie Harper : Well... Would you like to go see a bunch of naked boobs?

  Jake Harper : [excited]  Sure!

  Alan Harper : [shocked]  Charlie!

  Jake Harper : [scene cuts to a sauna full of fat, sweaty men]  This was a dirty trick, Uncle Charlie.