Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends (TV Series)
Wrestling (1999)
DeWayne Bruce: Self
Quotes
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[at the WCW Power Plant training centre for wrestlers, as a token of respect, Louis has decided to join in the wrestlers' workout led by 'Sarge', who shouts constantly, like a military drill sergeant. The very punishing workout wears Louis out, he wants to stop but the other wrestlers won't let him and they crowd around him, yelling]
Louis Theroux : [narrating] I'd been trying my best, I just couldn't keep up. But dropping out wasn't an option. It seemed Sarge was still fuming over my questions at the Monday Nitro event.
[Sarge makes Louis lie on the floor and swing his arms and legs out, like in a star jump]
Sarge : MOVE YOUR ARMS! MOVE YOUR LEGS! SAY "SIR, I'M A DYIN' COCKROACH, SIR!"
Louis Theroux : Sir, I'm a dying cockroach, sir!
Sarge : These guys go through it every damn day, and you got the nerve to ask me that bullshit down at Nitro? What the hell? You don't think we're not athletes - hell yeah, we're the best athletes in the world! We do this 365 days a fucking year!
[cut to him holding the scruff of Louis' T-shirt]
Sarge : Finish 'em out!
Louis Theroux : [shaking his head, exhausted] I'm a dying cockroach.
Sarge : I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE A DYING COCKROACH!
[points to his boot]
Sarge : YOU SEE THAT FOOT? IT'S GONNA SQUASH YOU!
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Sarge : [shouting constantly] You see how ridiculous the questions you asked me down there are?
Louis Theroux : [exhausted] Yes, yes, I do, yes.
Sarge : Did you see why I am The Sarge, huh?
Louis Theroux : Yes.
Sarge : [shouting into Louis' ear] SPEAK UP! SAY "SIR, YES SIR!"
Louis Theroux : Sir, yes sir!
Sarge : Do you have any questions about our business now that you wanna know? Look at these guys, they started at 10 o'clock. Now you see why this is the toughest sport in the fucking world! Bar none! They gotta put up with my short, irritable ass every fucking day!
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Sarge : [as Louis vomits from overexertion] Puke! That ain't nothin'! You ain't done nothin'! BLOW CHUNKS!
