- President Josiah Bartlet: We agree on nothing, Max.
- Senator Lobell: Yes, sir.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Education, guns, drugs, school prayer, gays, defense spending, taxes - you name it, we disagree.
- Senator Lobell: You know why?
- President Josiah Bartlet: Because I'm a lily-livered, bleeding-heart, liberal, egghead communist.
- Senator Lobell: Yes, sir. And I'm a gun-toting, redneck son-of-a-bitch.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Yes, you are.
- Senator Lobell: We agree on that.
- Ambassador Ken Cochran: I'm sorry to do this, but I'd like to speak to your supervisor.
- Charlie Young: Well, I'm personal aide to the President, so my supervisor's a little busy right now looking for a back door to this place to shove you out of. But I'll let him know you'd like to lodge a complaint.
- Ambassador Ken Cochran: I think it would be appropriate at this time, Mr. President, to make a confession.
- President Josiah Bartlet: What's that?
- Ambassador Ken Cochran: I never voted for you.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Well, thanks for trying, but here I am, anyway. Gotta go.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Toby, are you in here sticking up for Sam?
- Toby Ziegler: I know it's strange, sir. But I'm feeling a... a certain... big brotherly connection right now. You know, obviously, I'd like that feeling to go away as soon as possible, but for the moment I think there's no danger in the White House standing by Sam and aggressively going after the people who set him up.
- Josh Lyman: My watch says ten to seven.
- Donna Moss: That's cause your watch sucks.
- Josh Lyman: My watch is fine.
- Donna Moss: Your watch says ten to seven.
- Josh Lyman: How do we know it isn't ten to seven?
- Donna Moss: Cause those large clocks on the wall that are run by the US Navy say your watch sucks. In fact they say your watch sucks in four different time zones.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Let me just tell you that I need a favor.
- Ted Mitchell: Oh, of course, sir.
- President Josiah Bartlet: I need you to hire a guy.
- Ted Mitchell: Who, sir?
- President Josiah Bartlet: The former ambassador to Bulgaria.
- Ted Mitchell: Who is that, sir?
- President Josiah Bartlet: Ken Cochran.
- Ted Mitchell: Well, isn't Ken Cochran the current ambassador to Bulgaria?
- President Josiah Bartlet: Not for long. Look, he's a good man, a smart man. I think he'd make a very good corporate officer.
- Ted Mitchell: Why is he being fired, sir?
- President Josiah Bartlet: Gross incompetence. I'll be right back.
- Josh Lyman: When I get back, you're gonna argue with me and we're gonna argue about the things I wanna argue about and you're gonna do your best not to annoy me too much.
- Joey Lucas: It's almost hard to believe you're not married.
- Josh Lyman: Oh ho! Many have tried.
- Toby Ziegler: Since when are you an expert on language?
- Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: In polling models?
- Toby Ziegler: Okay.
- Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: 1993. Since when are you an uptight pain in the ass?
- Toby Ziegler: Since long before that.
- Josh Lyman: C.J. started the briefing already?
- Donna Moss: A half-hour ago.
- Josh Lyman: The briefing's not supposed to start till 11:00.
- Donna Moss: Guess what?
- Josh Lyman: My watch sucks?
- Donna Moss: Yes, indeed.