- Harlin Polk: I'm Harlin Polk. I'm supposed to meet Grace.
- Karen Walker: I'm Karen Walker. I'm supposed to be Grace's assistant.
- Harlin Polk: Well, you don't strike me as the assistant type.
- Karen Walker: Well, honey, behave yourself, and I won't have to strike you at all. Go on, honey, sit down. Grace'll be here in a minute.
- Jack McFarland: [Karen is at her desk filing her nails as Jack enters] Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for Just Jack!
- [singing]
- Jack McFarland: Touch me in the mornin' ...
- Karen Walker: Honey, I'm busy. Touch yourself.
- Jack McFarland: This guy, lemme tell ya... Thursday night, downtown at the duplex. Be there, be blown away.
- Will Truman: What are you talking about? You're not a performer.
- Jack McFarland: I am now. Me, a piano, and a spotlight. I'm calling it "Just Jack." Here's my flyer. "Just Jack." One night only. "Just Jack."
- Will Truman: Why one night-- oh. It's open mike night.