- Grace Adler: You know what? I'm sorry. I can't just turn it on and off like you. If you prick me, I bleed, and right now, I am bleeding because of a particularly unforgivable prick!
- Will Truman: Just gonna do a little business. Let me do the talking. You're just the strong, silent type, with an angry look.
- [Looks at the expression on Grace's face]
- Will Truman: Angry, not constipated.
- Grace Adler: [gradually coming unhinged as she explains how horrible her life is] And I was in Bloomingdale's this morning waiting on line to buy wrinkle cream, and this Jennifer-Love-Michelle-Sarah-Felicity looking *thing* bumps into me and says, "Excuse me... *ma'am!*"
- Will Truman: Don't hate me.
- Grace Adler: Don't talk to me.
- Will Truman: I have to talk to you.
- Grace Adler: I have to hate you.
- Jack: Karen, I can't do it any more. Every day I come in here, and I touch your naked body. We don't talk, there's no emotion. I'm acting like a straight guy, and it's making me sick. I took an oath in front of God and my mother; I'm here, I'm queer, Get used to it.
- Jack McFarland: [Trying to get some guinea pigs for him to test his massaging on] I love people. As long as they're not hairy... or smelly... or have the dreaded 'backney'. Ew! Ok, I need some guinea pigs. Who's interested?
- Will Truman: Smelly.
- Grace Adler: Hairy.
- [They both leave]
- Jack McFarland: Thank you, friends.
- [Jack looks at Karen]
- Karen Walker: Backney.
- Jack McFarland: [beginning a massage practice session with Karen] Now, I want you to take off your robe, and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. The sheet will drape you, so...
- Karen Walker: Yeah, I've done this before, honey. Skin to the wind.
- Jack McFarland: [Karen lies down as Jack starts to put the sheet over her] Wow, Karen, you could bounce a quarter off that thing.
- Karen Walker: [on the phone with Rosario] Rosario, enough-o with the April Fresh-o.
- Karen Walker: [hangs up] Right now she's calling me a bitch-o.