- Wayne Arnold: [sleepily] Is that Karen?
- Kevin Arnold: No Butthead, it's Santa Claus.
- Wayne Arnold: Oh.
- Karen Arnold: Michael, I want you to leave. Now.
- Michael: [gets up from the dinner table] Fine.
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: And there you had it. It was as if a tornado had blown through our house, and left no survivors.
- Norma Arnold: [upset, she leaves the dinner table] Would you mind getting the dishes, Jack?
- Wayne Arnold: [pointing at Michael's plate] Dad, can I have his roll?
- [Kevin then punches Wayne's arm]
- Kevin Arnold: [as Michael pitches a tent in the front garden, in the middle of the night] So what are you gonna do?
- Karen Arnold: Nothing. I'll just ignore him. I'm going to bed. Goodnight.
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: And there really wasn't a whole lot left for the rest of us to do... except of course... hide in the kitchen.
- Kevin Arnold: You know, this is stupid. You know that, don't you? I mean, are we just going to sit here all night? We can't, right? I mean, that'd be idiotic. So I think we should do something.
- Kevin Arnold - The Narrator: There! It was a clear and bold call for action.
- Wayne Arnold: Mum, is there any more meatloaf?
- Karen Arnold: [as Michael stands out in the pouring rain] He's just standing there. What is he doing?
- Jack Arnold: Well, for one thing. He's getting pretty wet.