Jack Benny: Jack Benny

Quotes 

• Jack Benny : You've been with me a long time. You don't have to be so formal. From now on, you can call me by my first name.

  Dennis Day : Okay, what is it?

  Jack Benny : It's Quincy. Quincy Benny.

  Dennis Day : Then why does everybody call you Jack?

• Mrs. Day : Well I don't want you to pick on my boy, Dennis.

  Jack Benny : Well I've got a right to pick on him. Been with me for 17 years, he made me a nervous wreck. There isn't a Sunday, he doesn't drive me nuts.

  Mrs. Day : Well what are you complaining about? We've got him the rest of the week.

• Don Wilson : My being fat is all your fault.

  Jack Benny : My fault?

  Don Wilson : For years, I wanted to go on a diet, but I knew if I got thin, it would ruin all your jokes about me on the show. So I stayed the way I am for the good of the show.