South Park (TV Series)

Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus (1999)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Tom the News Reader, Craig Netzel, Tommy, Man in Crowd #1, Man in Crowd #3, Mr. Garrison, Randy Marsh, Man on TV, God, Phillip, Radio Presenter, Rod Stewart's Agent, Rod Stewart, Dr. Mephesto, Dr. Doctor, News Reporter, Skeeter, Man in Crowd #4, Mr. Mackey

Quotes 

• God : [to Stan]  You will hit puberty, but you will never have a period, because you are a boy...

  [pauses as he looks over Stan] 

  God : ...with titties

• Jesus : [to an old Rod Stewart in a wheel chair]  Hey, Rod, great to see you. Uh, the folk are sure glad you're playing. It's giving them a lot of faith in me again. I'm sure together we can make this millennium party the best New Year's bash ever!

  Rod Stewart : Poop pants.

  Jesus : What?

  Rod Stewart : Poop pants.

  Jesus : You pooped your pants? Nurse, Mr. Stewart has apparently pooped his pants.

  Nurse : Again? Now, Mr. Stewart, what did we say about trying to hold in Mr. Dookie?

• Dr. Doctor : My worry is that he could've been following some kind of crazy, new fad. Perhaps the children all shoving tampons up their ass because they've seen The Backstreet Boys doing it on TV or something. We must get to the bottom of this - if you pardon the pun.