M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Mail Call, Again (1975)
Alan Alda: Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce
Photos
Quotes
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Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : [Reading his mother's lips in the home movie] "I love you, Walter."
Captain B.J. Hunnicut : Gee, Dad, talkies.
Father Francis Mulcahy : Who's Walter?
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : That's my given name.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Give it back.
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Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : You know, when you're mad, you're ugly?
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Captain B.J. Hunnicut : Where's Frank, Margaret? Still trying to call home?
Major Margaret Houlihan : There's a crisis.
Captain B.J. Hunnicut : Hurricane named Louise.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : I'd love to tap into that conversation.
Captain B.J. Hunnicut : I'd love to be a mouse with earphones.
Major Margaret Houlihan : Oh you'd just love to see me squirm, wouldn't you?
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Can I slip into something comfy first?
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Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : I lost the baby pool.
Father Francis Mulcahy : Well, bless my soul! I won!
Captain B.J. Hunnicut : A little inside information, Father?
Father Francis Mulcahy : Not at all. I just know a little more about conceptions.
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Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : [Giving B.J. his letters] And from Waggle Hunnicut.
Captain B.J. Hunnicut : My dog.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Your dog?
Captain B.J. Hunnicut : My wife does the actual writing, actually.
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Surely you jest!
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : [laughs] Dogs can't write!
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Are you kidding? I once knew a cocker spaniel that covered the dog show for the New York Times.
[Radar laughs more]
Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce : Oh yeah, he would've won the Pulitzer Prize, but that was the year Joyce Kilmer wrote "Trees".