Count Duckula (TV Series)

No Sax Please: We're Egyptian (1988)

Jack May: Igor, Hoomite

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Duckula meets two Egyptian priests deep beneath a pyramid] 

  Hoomite : I am Hoomite, High Priest of the Sun God Ra! And this is my assistant Yoobee.

  Yoobee : Delighted, I'm sure.

  Hoomite : Who might you be?

  Count Duckula : Yes, I got that.

  Hoomite : No, who might you be?

  Count Duckula : Yes, I know, you said that already.

  Hoomite : So you will not tell me?

  Count Duckula : Well, I hardly need to, do I?

  Hoomite : We shall see about that! Yoobee, you try.

  Yoobee : Oh, very well master. Listen I am Yoobee, right?

  Count Duckula : Wrong. I am. You are.

  Yoobee : Aahhh! There you are Master, he is Yooare.

  Hoomite : So you are Yooare?

  Count Duckula : I am not, I am not.

  Hoomite : See! He is not Yooare, he is Knot!

  Yoobee : You are Yooare!

  Count Duckula : I am not Yooare.

  Yoobee : Don't call me Knot, Yooare. I am not Yooare, I am not Knot. I am Yoobee.

  Count Duckula : Look, let us get this sorted out. I am not Knot, okay? I am not Yooare. Okay? And you are Hoomite. And you are Yoobee. Okay?

  Hoomite , Yoobee : Okay.

  Hoomite : But!

  Count Duckula : Yes?

  Hoomite : Who might you be?

• Nanny : [about Duckula's sax. playing]  Oooh, it's loud enough to wake the dead!

  Igor : The dead! Ah ha ha ha ha!

• Igor : Oh, oh *no*, what's happening?

• Count Duckula : [asking about a pharaoh]  Who, Ra?

  Hoomite : And Upshee rises!

  Count Duckula , Hoomite , Yoobee : [singing]  Hoorah, and Upshee rises/ Hoorah, and Upshee rises/ Hoorah, and Upshee rises never in the morning!

• Nanny : [in the desert]  Ooh, isn't this thick-pile carpeting lovely?

  Igor : *That*, Nanny, is the Sahara!

  Nanny : Well, I knew it wasn't broadloom!

• Count Duckula : The mystic saxophone?

  Igor : What the Archduck was searching for!

  Count Duckula : Well, you never mentioned *that*!

  Igor : I thought I did, milord.

  Count Duckula : No, you did not!

  Ruffles : [the Crow Brothers are eavesdropping outside the window. the first crow Brother asks the second]  Here now, did he mention the mystic saxophone?

  Burt : [asks the third]  I don't know, did he mention the mystic saxophone?

  Junior : [asks the fourth]  I don't know! Eh, did he mention the mystic saxophone?

  4th Crow : Uh, no.

  Junior : [to second]  No.

  Burt : [to first]  No.

  Ruffles : [to Igor, who does not realize that he is there]  No, you never mentioned it!

  Count Duckula : You see? You never mentioned it!

  Igor : I'm sorry, milord. Milord, it's rather stuffy in here. Excuse me while I open a window.

  [he opens the window, which knocks the Crow Brothers down] 

• Nanny : [inside a tomb]  Oh, look at the mess in here! I wish I'd brought my feather duster.

  Igor : Or even your feather brain!

  Nanny : Yes, that would be nice!

• Nanny : [Duckula has the saxophone in hand]  I hope you wash that before you put it in your mouth

  Igor : Silence, Nanny! A single blow and we shall be the servants to the Emperor of evil!

• Igor : [Nanny is forcing him to dance]  No! No-no, let go! Ohh, Nanny! Oh, milord, make her stop!

• Count Duckula : [upon hearing the Crow Brothers fall out side the window sill]  What was that?

  Igor : Hmm?

  Count Duckula : A series of thuds like falling bodies hitting the floor!

  Igor : Oh, that'll be Nanny making pastry, sir.

• Igor : [narrating on the Archduck's discovery]  On day, while penetrating the depths of the Pharaoh Upshee's tomb, he stumbled upon a great stone altar.

  The Archduck McGanza : [trips over the altar]  Ow!

  [chortles] 

  The Archduck McGanza : What great, stupid idiot left *this* here?

  Igor : And as he mused upon this marvelous discovery...

  The Archduck McGanza : Marvelous? I nearly broke me bloody foot!

  Igor : ...There entered two strange figures with weird hair, looking like the walking dead!

• Igor : Look, sir, a statue.

  Count Duckula : Oh, it's not me, I don't look at anything like that.

  Igor : I meant, sir, that it is a statue to guard the dead. A statue of the god Anubis.

  Nanny : Master Duckula, close your your eyes!

  Count Duckula : Huh, close my eyes?

  Nanny : I won't have you looking at people with no clothes on!

  Count Duckula : What are you talk - not a "nudist", Nanny, *Anubis*, it's a statue of *Anubis*! Oh, what's the use?