Count Duckula (TV Series)

No Sax Please: We're Egyptian (1988)

Brian Trueman: Nanny, 2nd Camel, Dimitri, 3rd Crow

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nanny : [about Duckula's sax. playing]  Oooh, it's loud enough to wake the dead!

  Igor : The dead! Ah ha ha ha ha!

• Count Duckula : [about Nanny's slamming of silverware at people]  Last time, you killed three chambermaids and a footman!

  Nanny : Oh, they was only part-time, sir! And the little blond one never dusted the pictures rails!

• Nanny : [in the desert]  Ooh, isn't this thick-pile carpeting lovely?

  Igor : *That*, Nanny, is the Sahara!

  Nanny : Well, I knew it wasn't broadloom!

• Count Duckula : The mystic saxophone?

  Igor : What the Archduck was searching for!

  Count Duckula : Well, you never mentioned *that*!

  Igor : I thought I did, milord.

  Count Duckula : No, you did not!

  Ruffles : [the Crow Brothers are eavesdropping outside the window. the first crow Brother asks the second]  Here now, did he mention the mystic saxophone?

  Burt : [asks the third]  I don't know, did he mention the mystic saxophone?

  Junior : [asks the fourth]  I don't know! Eh, did he mention the mystic saxophone?

  4th Crow : Uh, no.

  Junior : [to second]  No.

  Burt : [to first]  No.

  Ruffles : [to Igor, who does not realize that he is there]  No, you never mentioned it!

  Count Duckula : You see? You never mentioned it!

  Igor : I'm sorry, milord. Milord, it's rather stuffy in here. Excuse me while I open a window.

  [he opens the window, which knocks the Crow Brothers down] 

• Nanny : [inside a tomb]  Oh, look at the mess in here! I wish I'd brought my feather duster.

  Igor : Or even your feather brain!

  Nanny : Yes, that would be nice!

• Nanny : [Duckula has the saxophone in hand]  I hope you wash that before you put it in your mouth

  Igor : Silence, Nanny! A single blow and we shall be the servants to the Emperor of evil!

• 2nd Camel : [seeing the castle in the desert]  That's the strangest looking mirage I've seen all week!

  1st Camel : Oh, that's not a mirage!

  2nd Camel : I'll bet you fifty piastres it *is*!

  1st Camel : You're on!

  2nd Camel : Right so. Watch this.

  [the second camel runs into the castle hitting his head] 

  2nd Camel : Ooh!

  1st Camel : There you are. I told you so!

• Igor : Look, sir, a statue.

  Count Duckula : Oh, it's not me, I don't look at anything like that.

  Igor : I meant, sir, that it is a statue to guard the dead. A statue of the god Anubis.

  Nanny : Master Duckula, close your your eyes!

  Count Duckula : Huh, close my eyes?

  Nanny : I won't have you looking at people with no clothes on!

  Count Duckula : What are you talk - not a "nudist", Nanny, *Anubis*, it's a statue of *Anubis*! Oh, what's the use?

• Ruffles : [they are climbing the walls]  Come on, lads, at about fifty-foot, we'll reach the top. Have you got the-

  [he hears Nanny singing off-key] 

  Burt : Have I got the what, chief?

  Ruffles : Listen.

  [he hears Nanny singing again] 

  Ruffles : Makes your flesh creep, dunnit? Must be the werewolf.

  Nanny : [Nanny is dusting]  Now, give it a tickle with me featherduster, and it'll be as right as rain!

  Ruffles : She's ticklin' it wiv' a featherduster! No wonder it's out.

  Nanny : [she sweeps the featherduster outside of the window and unknowingly into Ruffles' face]  There!

  Ruffles : [gears up to sneeze]  Ahh, ahh...

  Burt : What's ah, chief?

  Ruffles : Ahh...

  Burt : "Ahh" *what*, chief?

  Ruffles : [sneezes]  Ah-choo!

  [he lets go of the ledge and the four Crow Brothers plummet down to the ground]