Undergrads (TV Series)

Roommates (2001)

Pete Williams: Parker 'Nitz' Walsh, Justin 'Gimpy' Taylor, Cal Evans, Rocko Gambiani

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Cal is playing the piano] 

  Cal : Valereeee, you're the one for meeeeee, slrrrpp, I love youuuuuuu, oh Valereeeee, slrrp, when we met, we just wanted sex, but now we want more, slrrp...

  Gimpy : A girl! Can you believe it? A girl thinks she can out-hack me!

  Nitz : You don't say. Pretty soon those uppity women folk will be wanting to vote.

• Cal : What do you think sounds better, guy? ValerEE, or VAlerEEE?

• [flashback, the phone rings. Nitz picks it up] 

  Nitz : Uhh snahh?

  Cal : Hey, guy! I got into State U! Aw we should be roommates, at college!

  Nitz : Who is this now?

  Cal : Great! See you at college roommate guy!

• Rocko : Friends can do it. Thats what Cosmo says. But I don't read the articles, I just look at the pictures.

• Nitz : Let me guess. My last can of ravioli.

  Cal : Next time can you get the mini dinosaurs? I like triceratops!

• Jessie : How's Cal?

  Nitz : Give him the broken face!

• Cal : [combing his eyebrows with Nitz's toothbrush]  Hey, do you think my brows are too bushy guy?

• Jessie : Pat my bunny.

  Nitz : Ok but I don't see- oooohhh, soft.

• Nitz : He can eat my ravioli... he can eat my ass!

• Mump : Sir, we heard that you might be associating with a... *woman*! Is this true?

  Gimpy : Mump, guys, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm a robot that's been sent to replace Gimpy while he goes to secret brain school.

  [they confer] 

  Mump : Good enough. Give our best to Gimpy.

• Nitz : [thinking to himself]  'Does your roommate have the hots for you?' Absolutely not! Absolutely not! Absolutely hot! Very very hot! Damn she's hot!

  Rocko : [in Nitz's head]  Friends can do it. Friends can do it.

  Cal : Hey, slrp, hey, slrp, hey, slrp...

• Rocko : Gimpy, you are so PC-whipped. Wha-cha.

  Gimpy : Heh, that's good... I am not PC-whipped!

• Rocko : Ok look. I think we're all feeling a little... premenstrual right now, but with a calcium-rich diet... a-and then there's bloating, and cramping, and nobody ever said labor was going to be easy.

• [Voices in Gimpy's head as he contemplates his relationship with She-Prime] 

  Rocko : PC-whipped. Wha-chh. PC whipped. Wha-chh.

  Gimpy : What do you think we should do sugarbyte? What do you think we should do sugarbyte?

  Cal : I don't say anything applicable to the current situation, guy!

• Nitz : [Nitz is in love with Jessie and has been trying to tell her. They are both playing a violent beat-'em-up game, and Jessie's player has pulled out Nitz's player's heart] 

  Jessie : Are you letting me rip out your heart on purpose?

• Cal : Sex SEX sex...

  Gimpy : Girls are the enemy.

  Rocko : Not this one. Man she's been a bad, bad girl.

  Nitz : Rocko, are you reading Cosmo?

  Rocko : Yeah! It's a buck cheaper than Jugs, and it smells like chicks.

  Cal : Oh VAAleREEE...

  Rocko : Cal would you shut up? I'm trying to maintain my stiffy... dammit!

• Nitz : Well Gimpy, this is never easy to say, but you look like Daria.

• Jessie : If I miss another bio lab, I'm screwed.

  Nitz : [nervously]  Screwed?

  Jessie : And I've got that male sexuality exam tomorrow. Can you test me tonight?

  Nitz : [more nervously]  Uhh, me? Thats not really my...

  Jessie : Forte? Yeah me neither. Toss me my deodorant?

  [Nitz looks and sees 'Secret - made for a woman' on it and runs out of the room] 

  Jessie : You got that stomach thing again?

• Nitz : Do you know how hard it was to reunite Notes to Myself? They aren't even speaking to each other.

• Gimpy : I've never said this to anyone She-Prime, but I never want us to shut down.

• Cal : I never noticed this birthmark on your ankle, guy!