- [last lines]
- Dr. Clayton Forrester: Could I ask you one thing before you go?
- TV's Frank: Sure.
- Dr. Clayton Forrester: Could you push the button, Frank?
- TV's Frank: Watch me rock.
- Prof. Orlof: You know, I bet it was a butterfly attracted to the light, and that's all.
- Crow T. Robot: Or a tiny condor waiting for you to die.
- [first lines]
- Mike Nelson: Well, hi, everyone. Mike Nelson here along with Crow and Servo aboard the Satellite of Love. I thought we'd start things a little differently. And why don't you join us as each in our own way we observe a moment of silence?
- [as a vampire woman attacks]
- Tom Servo: So, she comes, she sucks on your neck, you live forever, she's super-hot, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
- Dr. Forrester: Wait! I can't imagine. I shan't! Because it isn't true! But it is! Oh, this sucks!
- Dr. Forrester: [music starts] Who'll be my guinea pig for my gene splicing? My fingernail transplants? My fajita? Who will I blame my mistakes on? Who will I... Who will I kill?
- Dr. Forrester: [singing] I've destroyed and I've maimed and I've kicked him Now I'm a bully with no victim No adrenaline thrill no screams that are shrill Who? Who will I kill? I've crushed his head a few times Memories like nursery rhymes No one died like my TV's Frank No sweet blood to distill No cute tummy to drill Who? Who will I kill? When I look upon the first evening star I remember when I hooked his liver to the engine of my car I could pickle my Aunt Lil Give my dog a cyanide pill But what Frank-shaped void could they possibly fill? Here's my money. You can bank it. I'm no good without my Frank; it Seems he could die Without batting an eye Now it seems I must take my own bitter pill Tell me who? Who will I kill?
- Tom Servo: [For the car arriving at the castle just after Samson burns all the vampire women] Hi Honey! Gee it's great to be back at the castle! Hope your sister's dress-up Halloween slumber party went well... OH MY GOD!
- [During a blood sacrifice scene]
- Mike Nelson: This is what Southern Baptists think Catholic Mass is like.