Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series) The Starfighters (1994) User Reviews

You try to think of 120 minutes of stock footage riffs.

[juliankennedy23 · 7/10 · 4 March 2019]

Mystery Science Theater 3000 Season 7 Episode 12: The Starfighters: 7 out of 10: Look Mike and the robots do the best they can do with this. The skits are above average as is the riffing. But there is only so much you can do with an hour and a half of stock footage of a jet being refueled. They run out of jokes. Heck, they run out of jokes about running out of jokes.

This is one of the more painful MST3K episodes but certainly no fault of Mike, The Bot, or the writers. They stepped up to the plate and did better than one could expect. With such a boring movie it just wasn't enough.

The Starfighters: 1 out of 10: The Starfighters is an infomercial about the Lockheed F-104 "Starfighter". A fighter jet that according to the infomercial only keeps crashing so much because of pilot error. Seriously the entire movie is stock footage of the plane, usually being refueled, with snippets of pilot "drama" consisting mostly of future congressman Robert Dornan being told by his dad that he is a candyass cause he flies fighter jets instead of bombers. His father (who confusingly is a congressman in the movie) calls the base commander to complain his son is stuck in this dead-end top gun school instead of flying a bomber like a real man. I am at a complete loss how any of this improved the public's view of the Lockheed F-104 "Starfighter". I can tell you if I don't see one more scene of an inflight refueling in my life I can die a happy man.

'scuse me while I kick the sky

[icaredor · 18 December 2010]

If you're like me, and I know I am, then you've often wondered how much footage you could watch of planes refueling before you finally cracked. Luckily, this installment of MST will answer that question for you. If refueling doesn't do the job, Starfighters provides plenty of gripping talking-on-the-telephone-and-radio action to hold you in a vice-like stupor, tightened by the easy-listening jazz sound track.

This is an astonishingly dull movie from a director whose love of close-up shots runs to fetish. These giant head-shots are so startling on the small screen that I can only imagine the trauma they caused people who witnessed them in a movie theater, if, that is, anyone ever did. Director Will Zens can only be said to succeed with this film if he intended it as a metaphor for the sky: vast and largely empty.

With some lifeless movies (e.g., Lost Continent, Skydivers – what is it with the sky!), the SoL crew obviously struggles to beat off lassitude and keep the jokes flowing. Here, Mike and the bots are clearly having fun and easily keep the cracks rolling over this pancake.

The highlight of the episode, though, is the United Servo Men's Academy Chorus conducted by Brigadier Sir Thomas 'Bullhead' Servo. This choral paean to flying, courtesy of many Kevin Murphy overdubs, is both funny and impressive. My favorite MST musical number.

"They didn't have the poopy suit"

[ericstevenson · 9/10 · 6 July 2016]

This is another unbearably dull movie made funny by Mike and the bots. The outside theater segments were quite nice, especially the one with all the Tom Servos. I had no idea that his full name was Thomas Bullhead Servo. It might not have the "Sir" in it. It's just weird to see Crow struggle with the Internet. It's weird to even see the Internet back then in 1994. I really am starting to feel old. This reminds me of when that first came out and I was the only kid in class without a computer. At least they made something somewhat relevant.

It's great fun to see everyone talk about how boring the film is. It might not seem that funny, because they'd mostly just be saying the same things over. They manage to make it work because of how sarcastic they are. They talk about the importance of the scenes and the setup of the characters. One of my favorite lines was, "Just one warning. The North Vietnamese may fight back". Also, "You're going to lose three officers" followed by "I'm going to kill them". My favorite might have been, "You know, flying a plane is like making love" followed by, "You pay for it". I like Mike getting annoyed by Crow's poop jokes. ***1/2