The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)
Getting Settled (1962)
Buddy Ebsen: Jed Clampett
Photos
Quotes
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Jane Hathaway : [inquiring after Jethro's Oxford credentials] I presume he went to Eton as a boy?
Jed Clampett : If I know Jethro, he went to eatin' the minute he was born.
Jane Hathaway : Yes of course. I suppose his father matriculated him?
Jed Clampett : I kinda think maybe it was his ma.
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Jed Clampett : Jethro, you swear to be tellin' the truth?
Jethro Bodine : So help me, Jefferson Davis.
Daisy Moses : You take yer hat off when you speak of the President.
Jethro Bodine : He ain't President no more.
Daisy Moses : I'l have no Yankee talk in my kitchen!
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Jethro Bodine : [from the top of the stairs] Hey Uncle Jed, there's a whole 'nother house up here!
Jed Clampett : Jethro, come down from there. That probably belongs to someone else.
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Jethro Bodine : And over there is where I seen that great big pink chicken. Only thing is it don't sound like a chicken. It makes a kind of hollerin' noise.
Jed Clampett : [Jed finds a croquet ball and picks it up to examine it] I reckon you'd make a hollerin' noise too if you was to lay a egg like that.
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Jed Clampett : As a matter of fact, Jethro won the eatin' championship.
Jane Hathaway : How marvelous. What was he champion of?
Jed Clampett : Eatin'.
Jane Hathaway : I know, but what was it? Cricket?
Jed Clampett : No, no, it was crawdad. I don't think even Jethro would eat crickets.
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Jed Clampett : Well now, ain't that handy?
Elly May Clampett : What's that, Pa?
Jed Clampett : The way the road takes a bend in here and runs right by the front door.
Milburn Drysdale : No, Mr. Clampett, this is your driveway.
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Daisy Moses : Hey Jed, this here is dandy soil.
Jed Clampett : Fine Granny, we'll commence to plowin' tomorrow.
Milburn Drysdale : But this is Beverly Hills.
Jed Clampett : Dirt is dirt.