Mortified (TV Series)

Taylor's DNA (2006)

Marny Kennedy: Taylor Fry

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Taylor : In exactly one minute, my life will end.

• Taylor : Why can't my Mum be like everyone else's? I mean... Why can't she be a nurse?... or a teacher?... or a nursing teacher?... somewhere in Africa.

• Taylor : I know what you're thinking: my life is seriously bad, eh? But it gets worse... much worse. See that big canary over there in the red undies? Well, that's my Dad...

• Taylor : Dad, why're you dressed like that?

  Don Fry : Well, it's underpants awareness day. I'm launching a global celebration of underpants.

  Taylor : There's a reason why they're called *under*pants.

• Taylor : If I was to ask you something important, would you tell me the truth?

  Layla : No.

  Taylor : Was I adopted?

  Layla : No, Taylor, you weren't adopted. You were constructed from Play-Do, that's why you're so brainless... and ugly.

  Taylor : [speaking to Hector]  No way I'm related to that thing.

• Taylor Fry : Oh, in case you're wondering: "Layla" is an ancient Gaelic name, for boy magnet. Whereas my name, "Taylor Fry", is old Norse for

  [scoffs twice] 

  Taylor Fry : bony fish dish.

• [Talking about Taylor's parents] 

  Taylor Fry : Tell me they can't be doing this to me.

  Hector : They're doing this to you.

• Taylor Fry : This can't be happening.

• Taylor Fry : Leon.

  Leon : What?

  Taylor Fry : I have to explain. It's about my parents.

  [pause, thinking hard] 

  Taylor Fry : See, my Dad has this brain injury. It makes him do things. Behave like a lunatic.

  [pause, thinking hard again] 

  Taylor Fry : And Mum hasn't been the same since the tree fell on her.

  Leon : [not really listening]  Yeah?

  Taylor Fry : It took six chain saws to get her out.

• Taylor Fry : So this is it. This is how my life will end. The cause of death: Public humiliation. Could the death of Taylor Fry have been prevented?

  [changing her voice] 

  Taylor Fry : I'm afraid not, your honour. The victim's mother wore a midriff top. She belly-danced... in front of the whole school.

• Taylor Fry : [introducing Brittany to the audience]  That's Brittany. She's practically perfect. Perfect teeth. Perfect nose. Perfect eyes... even her parents are perfect.

• Taylor Fry : Did I mention Brittany's house is perfect, too. And guess what? It just so happens to be right next door to mine.

• [last lines] 

  Taylor Fry : [to Hector, about Leon]  Don't you hate it, when a person you really really like just thinks you're a dork?

• Taylor Fry : [speaking to Skinny Vinny, the greyhound]  So, uh... been in the racing game long?