- Taylor: Why can't my Mum be like everyone else's? I mean... Why can't she be a nurse?... or a teacher?... or a nursing teacher?... somewhere in Africa.
- Taylor: I know what you're thinking: my life is seriously bad, eh? But it gets worse... much worse. See that big canary over there in the red undies? Well, that's my Dad...
- Taylor Fry: Oh, in case you're wondering: "Layla" is an ancient Gaelic name, for boy magnet. Whereas my name, "Taylor Fry", is old Norse for
- [scoffs twice]
- Taylor Fry: bony fish dish.
- [Talking about Taylor's parents]
- Taylor Fry: Tell me they can't be doing this to me.
- Hector: They're doing this to you.
- Taylor Fry: Leon.
- Leon: What?
- Taylor Fry: I have to explain. It's about my parents.
- [pause, thinking hard]
- Taylor Fry: See, my Dad has this brain injury. It makes him do things. Behave like a lunatic.
- [pause, thinking hard again]
- Taylor Fry: And Mum hasn't been the same since the tree fell on her.
- Leon: [not really listening] Yeah?
- Taylor Fry: It took six chain saws to get her out.
- Taylor Fry: So this is it. This is how my life will end. The cause of death: Public humiliation. Could the death of Taylor Fry have been prevented?
- [changing her voice]
- Taylor Fry: I'm afraid not, your honour. The victim's mother wore a midriff top. She belly-danced... in front of the whole school.
- Taylor Fry: [introducing Brittany to the audience] That's Brittany. She's practically perfect. Perfect teeth. Perfect nose. Perfect eyes... even her parents are perfect.
- Taylor Fry: Did I mention Brittany's house is perfect, too. And guess what? It just so happens to be right next door to mine.
- [last lines]
- Taylor Fry: [to Hector, about Leon] Don't you hate it, when a person you really really like just thinks you're a dork?
- [upon looking through the Fry family's photo album]
- Hector: Your hair looks great in that picture.
- Glenda Fry: That's Don.