Scrubs (TV Series)

My Mirror Image (2006)

Donald Faison: Dr. Christopher Turk

Quotes 

• Carla : [J.D. tells Carla, Elliot, and Turk that Kim is pregnant]  I'm sorry J.D. but you knew this could happen when you had sex.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : I have to tell you guys something but you have to promise not to laugh. Ok?

  [Carla, Elliot, and Turk agree] 

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Ok, on the night of said conception, ah, Kim and I nude-ed up, and um, the dirty talk began and I got a little over excited.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : Oooh, She like a the dirty talk!

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : No, I do. I find it gets the ladies going. But I occasionally get wrapped up in it myself, especially when I use some of my different voices.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : He does.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Anywho, there was some unexpected friendly-fire, and uh, even though I never got a chance to enter the, the village, ah, there was an air strike on one of the outlying regions.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : [Turk yells excitedly and Carla pulls his ear to stop him]  Thank you.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Anyway, I talked to the gals in O.B.G and they said it's not uncommon for a woman to get pregnant even if there was no actual penetration.

  Dr. Christopher Turk : What your trying to tell us is that you never actually had sex with her?

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [after a brief pause]  I didn't have a condom.

  [Muffled giggles from Turk, Carla, and Elliot] 

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : And ah, we decided not to have sex because, here's the kicker, I didn't want to get her pregnant.

  [Carla, Elliot, and Turk break out in hysterical laughing] 

• Turk : Yo, Elliot... what's your ringtone?

  Dr. Elliot Reid : "Jesus, Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood.

  Dr. Todd Quinlan : I'm carrying underwood right now. See, that's funny because it's true.

  [holds up his hand for a five, but Elliot looks disgusted] 

  Dr. Todd Quinlan : Please?

• J.D. : My life is over.

  Dr. Cox : Oh come on, you gotta focus on the positives. For instance, the medical miracle that is one woman actually impregnating another woman.

  [claps his hands together] 

  Dr. Cox : Sha-daisy!

  [J.D. walks away] 

  Turk : Coincidentally, I have a cousin named Shedaisy.

  Dr. Cox : WHAT?

• Dr. Kim Briggs : [J.D. is hiding from Kim]  You seen J.D.?

  Dr. Christopher Turk : [J.D. shakes his head "No"]  I have not.

  Dr. Kim Briggs : Any idea where he is?

  Dr. Christopher Turk : [J.D. makes a gesture jabbing at his palm, puffing a few breaths, and wiggling his fingers]  Teaching CPR to underprivileged youth at Lincoln Middle School on 18th Street.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [Voice over]  I can't believe he got that! We are so ready for that charades tournament on Saturday!